Sunday, May 22, 2011
Frank Newman: The End is Nigh!
Today life on Earth is going to end. We know this to be true because Christian evangelist, Harold Camping, says "The Bible guarantees it!”.
And if Harold is not right then we know it will end soon anyway, because environmental evangelist, Al Gore, says "science guarantees it!”. Al Gore is in fact a lot smarter than Harold Camping, and for a number of reasons.
Firstly, Al was not as precise about the timing of our imminent self-destruction. He has in this respect found the perfect never-ending scam. Like the author writing a never ending story, Al Gore has hit upon something without a defined day of accountability. He does not risk the same questions that Harold Camping will need to confront if indeed the earth does not end in three hours and 52 minutes from the time of writing this sentence.
Secondly, Al Gore knows the eco-religion is much more sellable to today’s affluent world population than the concept of an omnipotent yet invisible higher authority. Like any business opportunity, scams are about timing. Had Al Gore preached environmental cataclysm from the eco-pulpit a few hundred years ago, the collection plate would probably not have been sufficiently full to provide he and his family with their daily bread. Harold Camping, on the other hand, would have been the man of the moment, finding fertile fields of clover in the minds of impoverished populations facing hard times and bleak futures.
To be fair on Harold Camping, even in these modern times he has been able to etch out a tidy little nest egg. Harold’s Family Stations network is reported to be worth about US$121 million. Not as much as Al Gore of course, but still, a worthwhile sum.
And so it is, times have changed. New scams replace the old. Bernie Madolf is awaiting the end of time in a US jail, Harold Camping and his congregation are awaiting the end of time in Oakland, California; and Al Gore does not need to wait nor want for anything.
at 8:27 AM