Like all addicts, I have a splendid rationalisation: My fortnightly column on European affairs for Newsroom requires me to stay informed about German politics. How convenient.
But who am I kidding? No journalist needs to maintain multiple German newspaper subscriptions. Or listen to German radio with disturbing regularity. Or know the names of all 16 state premiers – and their predecessors.
Despite having left Germany more than two decades ago, I remain hopelessly devoted to following its political machinations.
In truth, there is no rational explanation for my behaviour.
German politics is like a poorly scripted soap opera. The acting is dreadful, the plot twists are implausible. Surely there are better things I could do with my time. Perhaps updating my emergency earthquake kit. Or reading terms and conditions for online subscriptions. Or dealing with Wellington City Council.
Yet here I am, all excited about Germany’s latest political crisis. The scripts keep getting more absurd. You can read all about it in my latest Newsroom column.
Take last week’s episode. The Chancellor sacked his finance minister on live television. The former Justice Minister responded by publishing an electronic song about it.
The Federal Election Commissioner claimed early elections might be impossible due to a paper shortage.
The paper industry immediately contradicted this claim. The opposition suggested the Chancellor had orchestrated the paper crisis to delay the election. The Chancellor denied this.
Europe’s industrial powerhouse had descended into arguing about office supplies. You could not make it up.
One might think that delivering such entertainment would satisfy my appetite for watching institutional dysfunction. But no.
My other German addiction is following FC Schalke 04. Once a giant of European football, my club now celebrates unexpected victories against bottom-placed teams in the second division. Their 2-0 win against Jahn Regensburg made my Monday morning.
Perhaps there is a connection between following German politics and supporting Schalke. Both require a fondness for tragedy and a high tolerance for administrative incompetence.
Some people cannot quit smoking. Others struggle without caffeine. My affliction is following German institutions that reliably deliver disappointment.
The 84 percent of my fellow Germans yearning for early elections probably do not realise their soap opera is unlikely to improve even after the votes are counted, whenever that may be.
But like me, they know there is always hope. Or at least another cliffhanger episode.
Despite having left Germany more than two decades ago, I remain hopelessly devoted to following its political machinations.
In truth, there is no rational explanation for my behaviour.
German politics is like a poorly scripted soap opera. The acting is dreadful, the plot twists are implausible. Surely there are better things I could do with my time. Perhaps updating my emergency earthquake kit. Or reading terms and conditions for online subscriptions. Or dealing with Wellington City Council.
Yet here I am, all excited about Germany’s latest political crisis. The scripts keep getting more absurd. You can read all about it in my latest Newsroom column.
Take last week’s episode. The Chancellor sacked his finance minister on live television. The former Justice Minister responded by publishing an electronic song about it.
The Federal Election Commissioner claimed early elections might be impossible due to a paper shortage.
The paper industry immediately contradicted this claim. The opposition suggested the Chancellor had orchestrated the paper crisis to delay the election. The Chancellor denied this.
Europe’s industrial powerhouse had descended into arguing about office supplies. You could not make it up.
One might think that delivering such entertainment would satisfy my appetite for watching institutional dysfunction. But no.
My other German addiction is following FC Schalke 04. Once a giant of European football, my club now celebrates unexpected victories against bottom-placed teams in the second division. Their 2-0 win against Jahn Regensburg made my Monday morning.
Perhaps there is a connection between following German politics and supporting Schalke. Both require a fondness for tragedy and a high tolerance for administrative incompetence.
Some people cannot quit smoking. Others struggle without caffeine. My affliction is following German institutions that reliably deliver disappointment.
The 84 percent of my fellow Germans yearning for early elections probably do not realise their soap opera is unlikely to improve even after the votes are counted, whenever that may be.
But like me, they know there is always hope. Or at least another cliffhanger episode.
Read Oliver Hartwich’s Newsroom column about the implosion of Germany’s traffic light coalition here.
Dr Oliver Hartwich is the Executive Director of The New Zealand Initiative think tank. This article was first published HERE.
2 comments:
At least, Oliver, there was no thug's veto by noisy schuhplattlers! We all need hobbies or we would end up staying in bed and wondering what to do with ourselves. Even I read about German politics as it is entertaining. Those Greens have got a lot to answer for all over the World. I think they are making themselves more unelectable and I hope they keep it up. MC
I think German pollitics may win for drama and being ridiculous only because of your account Oliver, it was slightly more interesting when you had Mutzi, she, rolling her eyes and 'froffing at ze mouf' with Donald Trump as her guest.
And you do have those ridiculous greens. But I got to say we've just had the US elections and now just to coincide we have even more hilarity with the Maori Party. Again the Greens provide a great source of entertainment as does the struggling labour party but not to mention our PM and it's deputy Winston, you can't write this stuff. It is ceaseless and it's uncontrollably irresistible.
I have to say for me it all started with Jacinda Ardern. Then I got hooked on Trump. I really miss boring ole Bill English, he was boring apparently but he knew his sh*t. I never could understand why so many never understood that. They all said 'yeah but he's soo boring' I thought that was incredibly shallow.
BTW the German sense of humour is outstanding their sense of irony is second to none. And they are so nice too when delivering a cutting remark, but very funny.
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