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Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Pee Kay: An Ode for .. Lord Winston


Guest Post on No Minister by Victor Billot

Inside the basement levels of the Dark Tower, Lord Winston summons forth the evil dead known as Michael Laws

NEW MORDOR FIRST

Lord Winston of New Mordor called for his lieutenant

Matua Shane of the Limo.

“Walk with me,” said the King of the Night.

“And come welcome my Party List of Darkness

I have summoned with the Arts of Necromancy.”

Down into the basement levels of the Dark Tower

The two fell figures descended.

“Here are my laboratories,”

Said Lord Winston.

“Here I have resurrected the Political Dead.”

From the first cauldron emerged a troll with a transistor radio.

“Laws of the Platform,” murmured Winston.

Matua Shane shivered.

From the second cauldron emerged a toothy hobgoblin.

“Nash of the Gnashers,” murmured Winston.

Matua Shane trembled.

From the third cauldron emerged a thoroughly baked golem.

“Ikilei of the Cookers,” murmured Winston.

Matua Shane flinched.

From the fourth cauldron emerged a beaming opportunist.

“Lady Hipango of the Main Chance,” murmured Winston.

Matua Shane blanched in horror.

“My Lord,” he protested.

“Is this sorcery not breaking the admittedly Loose,

Flexible and Dim Moral Boundaries of New Mordor First?”

But before Matua Shane could say another word,

The freshly reanimated Lady Hipango lopped off his head.

“At your service, O Great One!” Saluted Lady Hipango,

With a deep bow to Lord Winston.

“I am here to assist you in your imminent retirement!”

The Old Wizard Winston swallowed: and the first time ever

Wondered if he had, indeed, conjured up sinister forces

That were beyond even his control.

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