I did not intend to be difficult, or obstructive, nor was I especially motivated to make a point. But I did feel obliged to be truthful. I explained that, by and large, the school was compliant, but that on rare occasions I had found myself unable to comply.
This concerned the official, who asked me to elaborate.I explained that on rare occasions, I had been unable to calm a student in my office sufficiently to feel that other students were safe should this student leave my office. On some occasions, I had even been told by a student, that they intended to seek retribution the moment they left.
I explained to the Ministry official that, in such circumstances, I would never allow such a student to leave my office, and I would take any reasonable measure to ensure that they did not. I explained that it was my duty to the other student(s) to take whatever action was necessary to keep them safe, and that I could never look this student, or their parents, in the face if I did anything less.
The official advised that, if I took such an action, I would be non-compliant with the isolation and restraint requirements, and that this would be problematic. I explained that I was conscience-bound to take similar action should such a situation arise again.
On a second visit, a more or less identical conversation took place. On this second visit, I explained that my position had not changed and that I had the backing of my Board.
I have long believed that if the average person knew the sorts of behaviours that are now typical in the average NZ classroom (and playground), they would be shocked.
And the reasons for this decline ...
... parents who back their children no matter what
... students who have been taught that respect (even to those in authority) must be earned
... students who have been taught that the object of life is to be maximally happy
... systems that emphasize equity over excellence (creating a motivational crisis)
... teachers who believe they are facilitators of learning over imparters of knowledge, and as equals with their students
... schools that can no longer isolate or restrain dangerous students, search students' bags, or interview a child on a serious matter unless their parent is present.
... A bureaucracy that places ideology over pragmatism, and that requires screeds of accountability (and paperwork) when a student is finally brought to task (as a disincentive to schools to draw a line in the sand), and that refuses to see that it is part of the problem.
... A society that has relegated the teaching of morals, behavior, and general life skills to the state.
I once read (not sure where) that, in our "modern" age, "parents have become children, and children have become parents".
Let's leave the tough work to the state (first teachers and then, tragically in some cases, the police), be friends with our children, and teach them that the primary goal of life is to be happy (not dutiful).
One of the great crises of our age is dysfunction (including social breakdown and mental illness) arising from the dissolution of boundaries.
Boundaries of civility, duty, discourse, responsibility, respect, and tolerance, need to be taught, modeled, and enforced.
Instead, we live in a society profoundly in need of de-centering, a society pathologically centred on rights, without the slightest concept of duty and responsibility, a society obsessed with the pursuit of pleasure and immediate gratification ... a society without the insight to see itself for what it has truly become, or the courage (and sacrifice) to aim for a recalibration.
I suspect that too many of those pulling the levers long ago ceased to be adults (and parents in the proper sense) preferring to be friends ... and so how could we expect them to know?
And finally ... a huge shout out to those parents who have remained such, who are humble enough to parent as their parents or grandparents did, who are willing to put their foot down, who can tolerate the momentary disdain of their children when they do so ... and who recognize, paradoxically, that the younger generations are kicking back at the absence of boundaries, and not the presence of these.
Schools (across the West) are not primarily to blame, they are simply a microcosm of, and a conduit for, the unfolding of a much greater tragedy.
A tragedy derivative of the absence of duty, example, and common sense ... the inevitable precursors of a civilization in decline.
5 comments:
It seems many of today’s young parents are so insecure (for a better word) in themselves that they think it paramount to be their children’s friend before being the disciplinarian.
Well said Caleb!
Look no further for the of this moral decay than the destruction of traditional values and replaced with socialist beliefs and the ideology of progressivism leading into pure Marxism with which it has much in common.The promulgator of this psychology and philosophy was an aggressive atheist , John Dewey who absorbed his ideas from Romantism that children are naturally good. This is sentimental nonsense since for me theologically , children are a mixture of good and bad. Academics have also contributed to the decline by interrupting the Enlightenment as an awakening of reason and throwing out all religion when in reality during the Enlightenment era there was a great deal of protestant religious revivalism which emphasized among other things ,morality. Even Oxford University has lately recognized this omission in interpretation.
At least the Golden Rule , which is universally accepted should be taught in our schools to help counter the complete lack of moral compass in students, parents and teachers. Good guidance for handling the Min.of Ed. is to do the exact opposite of what they mostly advocate. They are themselves, in my eyes, moral degenerates, even criminals , seeped in the iniquitous ideology.
A very sage commentary, Caleb. Thank you for expressing it so succinctly. One can only hope that the adults will take note.
Well said Caleb. Not only parents wanting to be friends with their young children, but the teachers also feel the need. How many teachers tell their pupils to call them by their first name? Instant loss of authority right there. Children want friends their own age. Teachers need to understand that they are better off if the children are a little in awe of them; ie act a little aloof. Children will respect an adult who lays down boundaries. Time enough to be friends when children mature into adults
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