Derek Mackie: Oh, to be Green ....

The polls are indicating that about 1 in 8 Kiwis intend to vote Greens this election. Hopefully, a large chunk of those will come to their senses or be too busy protesting against climate change to turn up at the polling booth. 

Bearing in mind the extreme and divisive policies being pushed by the Green Party, I felt it was imperative to explore the kind of person they attract, which begs the question why NZ seems to be producing more of them.

 WARNING: The following has been rated Bizarre and will be profoundly disturbing to those of a fair, balanced and democratic disposition. 

Oh, to be Green …. must be different indeed 

Unencumbered by logic, mind expanded by weed 

Overflowing with virtue, from which hypocrisy bleeds 

Rarely troubled by reason - a long dormant seed 

And obsessed with the mantra of race over need 

        Glad I’m not Green! 

Oh, to be Green …. the inclusivity pinnacle 

Love all genders and colours, just not male, pale and cynical 

Nor, for that matter, women defined biological 

Or those with a brain, who shun wackos illogical 

Leaving exclusive inclusives - the woke, weird and radical 

        Really glad I’m not Green! 

Oh, to be Green …. a unique kind of being 

Apocalyptically preaching, blind to facts disagreeing 

Hide extreme ideology behind a veil of well-meaning 

Despise all opinions, except ultra-Left leaning 

And scold the poor masses for living and breathing 

        How sad to be Green! 

Oh, to be Green …. on climate protest sabbaticals 

Glueing fingers to railings and blocking the traffic all 

Demanding fossil fuel bans, though insane and impractical 

Laud discredited theories, however fantastical 

Then back teaching at varsity, with other far-Left fanaticals 

        Must be mad to be Green! 

Derek Mackie is a former geologist with a keen interest in current affairs and a penchant for satire.