Derek Mackie: A friend like Ben

Ben - your X account appears no more 

Deleting all those posts was quite a chore

But with, the Greens to call your own 

You'll never be alone 

And you, my friend, will see 

Your best friend's me.....Chloe! 

    As long as you’re a Green MP 

Derek Mackie: A Cryptic Chris-word

The theme of today’s teaser, folks, is Kiwi politics, which can be confusingly cryptic at the best of times. Hopefully though, this puzzle will be less challenging than figuring out what’s going through the minds of our two main party leaders, who often appear clueless. 

 When complete, the answers should provide you with a snapshot of the main issues facing the country and the current state of NZ governance. 

Enjoy! With your morning coffee and a biscuit….or something stronger, perhaps! 

ACROSS 

1/ The modern ruling class delve into fake literature (5) 

4/ A pinkish variety of gingery red (7) 

7/ His army division and or what he did in the mess show the company he keeps (9) 

8/ In a town at Iona live those who claim to be right (8) 

10/ Pact between nations entreat you to sign (6) 

11/ Where a tribe endlessly goes with you to get most of their land back (8) 

12/ Undemocratic power sharing on a twin-skippered vessel (11) 

13/ Expect special treatment given to ten men, let it be shared (11) 

DOWN 

2/ He gets you all in a lather, then there’s no turning back (5) 

3/ We embrace OK when being inclusive, luvvie (4) 

5/ Make advances and almost give dubious political reform (11) 

6/ So shall is’t one who leans to the left (9) 

9/ Hold steady and lose last US soldier at annual meeting place (8) 

To reveal the solution and put an end to your nagging headache, hit Read More… 

Derek Mackie: Candle in the Wind

Sitting on the fence 

 A skill you execute, par excellence 

  While running scared of anything 

   That spooks Maori or our MSM 

God forbid you’re asked 

 For your opinion on a controversial task 

  No straight answers but your bent is clear 

   Labour-lite behind a National mask 

         And it seems to me, you lead us all 

         Like a candle in the wind 

         Smoky visions, dim decisions 

         Prone to wavering 

         Another corporate crusader 

         In a social justice cloak 

         Your candle’s almost burnt right down 

         Your legend’s going broke 

Derek Mackie: The Devastating Power of Kindness

Jacinda’s Book Launch - somewhere in the world ....... but definitely not New Zealand. 

Welcome everyone! It’s great to see so many familiar faces. I can’t wait to share my new book with all of you. 

 Writing A Different Kind of Power was a labour of love. No pun intended! 

I was cautioned by my publishing team against being too self-critical, too focused on things I could have done better, and allowing negativity to become the dominant theme.  All of those closest to me know that I simply don't know the meaning of those terms and this was never going to happen.  

Instead, I found the whole introspective process of writing about me an almost cathartic release of pent-up emotion as I revealed my true greatness to myself.  Does that sound narcissistic?  I don't think so.

It allowed me to fully appreciate and reflect on my achievements, of which I am immensely proud, as the youngest female head of government, ever!  

Heartfelt apologies to all my non-binary friends and associates for the use of this confronting and exclusive gender term.

Derek Mackie: Bye, Bye, Manurewa Marae

Not so very long ago 

I can still remember, how we used to get along just fine 

 But now it’s all about your race 

  Don’t matter the shade of your face 

A smidge of Maori gets you ‘cross the line 

The Maori Party makes me shiver 

 With every racist chant delivered 

Hakas in the Beehive 

 Hikoi marches, nah…let’s drive! 

There’s only one thing to decide 

 The future or a past denied 

  Go forth as one, or watch us cry 

The day… New Zealand dies 

So bye, bye, Manurewa marae 

Drove my ute to Auckland airport, time to reach for the sky 

Escape the bad vibes, with heavy heart and a sigh 

Singin' this'll be the day that I fly 

This'll be the day that I fly 

Derek Mackie: Money, money, money...

It seems hard to believe but our National-led coalition, steered by our PM and National Finance Minister, are racking up EVEN MORE debt over the next 4 years than Labour managed in their whole term in government. 

 As for the promised extensive cut-backs to our grossly overstaffed, overpaid and under-performing public sector, well…..what exactly happened to those?

We still employ almost as many civil servants as when Labour left office.

 Disappointingly, the current National crew is following the same pattern as National governments of old with watered down pledges to turn around all the bad stuff that previous Left-wing administrations enacted while in power. After some early wins this time around, driven by their coalition partners, invariably they barely scratch the surface, leaving most of the damage in place for Labour to pick up the wrecking ball where they left off. 

In fact, these days Labour and National are not so very different from each other when they get into power, even if they pretend otherwise at election time. It’s often just a matter of degree. Climate change, co-governance, public service bloat…..ballooning debt! 

Time for a change? 

Derek Mackie: For what it's worth

There's something troublin’ here 

Sure ain't good, that's exactly clear 

Activists, playin’ with our minds 

Trying to shame us, to keep us in line 

  It's time we stop 

   Kiwis, what's that sound? 

    Everybody look, we’re going down 

Derek Mackie: When I like nothing at all

Luxon’s outright rejection of ACT’s Treaty Principles Bill, describing it as “divisive”, has struck many New Zealanders as irrational at best, and at worst a “dereliction of duty”. 

 There certainly seems nothing divisive about any of the proposed principles in my view. Principles One and Three could not be clearer that the NZ Government has full power to make laws in the best interests of everyone and which maintain a free and democratic society. 

And, everyone has the same rights and we are all equal before the law. 

Principle Two specifically confirms that Maori will continue to enjoy the same rights, as set out in the original Treaty. 

 What’s not to like about that? Well, according to our PM, everything! 

 There is NOTHING he likes about the Bill - absolutely NOTHING!!!! 

 Using Ronan Keating's hit song - When You Say Nothing at All - for inspiration, I desperately tried to find some semblance of logic in Luxon’s bizarre position. But ultimately, I’m left grasping at straws….as he seems to be. 

Derek Mackie: And I'm feelin' screwed!

Birds flying high; kiwi, you know how I feel 

Sun in the sky; fog, you know how I feel 

Breeze driftin' by; doldrums, you know how I feel 

It's a woke dawn…. it's a woke day…. it's a woke life…. 

For me - [cause I ain’t an "inclusive" minority] 

    And I'm feelin’ screwed! 

Derek Mackie: The Green's red-hot candidate whitelist

Tonight on We Can Handle the Truth…. 

 The Green Party are reeling after another - yes folks, yet another- political scandal involving one of their MP’s. 

Darlene Tana was told to get on her e-bike by party co-leader Chloe Swarbrick when it came to light, after many long drawn-out months of investigation,  during which she was suspended on full pay, that she and her husband’s eco-cycle business was exploiting migrants.....albeit to save the planet by ostensibly reducing CO2 emissions! 

Derek Mackie: Hey Dolly! Parton with Jacinda was the best thing we did

The Dolly Parton classic, Jolene, is the perfect refrain to highlight the character flaws of a real-life woman we all know; who, on the surface, is charismatic and appealing but in reality is two-faced, divisive and, despite the way she shamelessly markets herself, highly selective in showing genuine empathy for others. 

 I’m sure you’ve guessed who I mean; the darling of the progressive Left who has hoodwinked a cheerleading Western media and gullible political and academic establishment that has largely fallen in love with her. 

 Only those who endured five years of her terrible governance know what she’s truly like. 

So, let’s tell it like it really is. 

Hit it, Dolly! 

Derek Mackie: Jacinda's "Field" of Dreams

I’m baa-aack!!!!

 

In the public eye, if not on home soil. Sorry to disappoint. 

I won’t ask if you’ve missed me - we both know the answer to that. The question would likely prompt an uncontrolled and deep felt outburst of raw emotion on your part which would only embarrass us both. 

I’m too empathetic to inflict that on you. 

 Yes Aotearoa, after what seems like an eternity of 18 months in the top-tier academic trenches, fighting the evils of right-wing misinformation; getting down-and dirty in the luxury pile carpets of Harvard, I am once again returning to the world stage, where I Left-ly belong. 

Derek Mackie: Don't judge a book by its library data system

Most of us would agree that New Zealand has lost its mojo over the past 6 years and is an unhappier and more divisive place. 

We struggle to make a single thing on time and to budget anymore, other than a coffee, and the nation seems to be a dreary shadow of its former self. The state of our roads and the ever-present roadworks and traffic cones are a depressing symbol of our productive and social malaise. 

 I’m hoping our new Coalition government will turn things around and, to be fair, it’s still early days. Indeed, there have been lots of encouraging announcements of cancelled, race-riddled Labour policies like Three Waters and the Maori Health Authority. 

However, the Coalition's much trumpeted new Fast Track Approvals Bill has astoundingly taken a leaf out of Labour’s book and given iwi guaranteed representation on the “expert panels”. 

What the hell’s that all about? It's not what we voted for, or what the Coalition agreements assured us would happen. 

So, let’s hope the Coalition doesn't follow Labour’s submissions policy as well, and disregards any that criticise this blatantly racist provision 

Derek Mackie: Labour - the song remains the same

  Today’s castaway on Desert Island Discs is NZ Labour Party leader, Chris Hipkins. 

He's on a flying visit to the UK to pick up some tips from his British counterpart, Keir Starmer, on how to make Labour great again. 

Welcome Chris. Thanks for joining us. 

That must have been a very short meeting with Keir. I hope you got some shopping in to make up for coming all this way. 

Actually, we had a very fruitful discussion and shared some ideas that both of us found enlightening. 

Derek Mackie: Jacinda's leadership - documentary or hero-worship?

The latest offering from the “documentary” stable of the NZ Film Commission, covering the leadership of Jacinda Ardern and the alleged rise of violent extremism and online hate in NZ, may end up being as fair, balanced and neutral as a Labour Party political broadcast. 

 It doesn’t have a title yet but what about:- 

             JACINDA-MANIA - to the edge of reason and beyond 

 Funded to the tune of $800k of tax-payers money, this visual feast promises to tell her “truth”, her single source of “truth”....and nothing like the real truth, about the meteoric rise, but not the precipitous fall, of one of New Zealand’s most iconic leaders. 

 Some might reasonably object to this kind of spending as frivolous and inappropriate, given the straitened times we live in. Or even a complete waste of money given the Commission’s track record of funding commercial flops. Probably both. 

Derek Mackie: Water, water everywhere, but not free for all to drink!

Water, water everywhere; in hoses, baths and sinks 

Be it storm or waste for treatment; or the fresh stuff that we drink 

In lakes and rivers, pumps and pipes; enjoyed by all and sundry 

Flushing poos and wees away; keeps us clean and does our laundry 

Some say it’s “indigenous”; part-Maori owned, they claim 

Others say nobody owns it; we’re all entitled, just the same 

A basic universal right; an essential part of life 

Unless tikanga rules the court; woke judges causing strife 

Derek Mackie: Dear Chris.....

Dear Chris 

 Starting on a positive note, belated congratulations on becoming our 42nd Prime Minister. I wasn’t sure you had it in you, and I’m still far from convinced, but we’re stuck with you so let’s endeavour to make the best of it, shall we.

You weren't my first choice…or my second to be honest, but you are a damn sight better than the two ludicrous ideological incompetents who came before you. 

 You’ve been in office for three months now and your honeymoon period is definitely over. Well, it never really started, did it? Not in the mainstream media. 

Man, those guys hate you with a passion. Which means you must be doing something right, so keep it up. But as old school reports sometimes say, “must try harder”. In your case, a lot harder. 

Derek Mackie: Waitangi Day - all for one, but not for all!

 Waitangi Day! 

Commemorating that momentous occasion back in 1840 when the British Crown “went into partnership” with a smorgasbord of warring Maori iwi…..

…..well, in spirit if not on paper or in any constitutional sense….. 

…..in fact, almost all the tribes fell over themselves to cede sovereignty in exchange for British citizenship and title to their land and possessions….and just as important, protection from their neighbours. 

 Waitangi Day! 

Our national day of unity and celebration, so we’re told, when everyone…… 

…..well, some of us at least……. 

….actually, only 17% of us can feel welcome on the Treaty Grounds and reflect on all the things that make Aotearoa……. 

…..or is it Aotearoa-New Zealand…… 

…..in fact, it’s officially just New Zealand…. the greatest little country in the SW Pacific.

Derek Mackie: Left for dead but Woke back up

Karl Marx kicked things off, said overthrow the ruling toffs 

Revolution, class struggle, oppressors and oppressed 

Then Lenin, Stalin, Chairman Mao, put theory into practice, wow! 

Spawned North Korea, Vietnam, Laos and all the rest 

Communism, choice terminator; just one box on your ballot paper 

Democracy, at least two options; result unsure, screw that! 

Do as you’re told, you’re just a cog; thinking is the Party’s job 

Constant comrade supervision of the proletariat 

Derek Mackie: Retail therapy

Ponsonby prices eye-popping, Ms Green went a-shopping

High-end retail, exclusive, no trash 

She’d brought just enough money 

For the taxi home, honey 

She’d be needing to leave in a flash