A Satirical look at New Zealand Politics, 2017 – 2026
Part 1 Who will save Democracy?
On 26th October, 2017 a hitherto unheard-of virus entered New Zealand.
Democracy didn’t know it but it was to become the key target of this previously obscure and outlandish contagion.
By mid to late 2018 it was becoming obvious to many that Democracy was definitely the target of the virus and, worse still, Democracy had actually been infected.
By 2019 it was confirmed Democracy was suffering from a dangerous virus. Some of the more politically astute people of the land were becoming alarmed by Democracy’s condition. It was becoming very challenging to obtain accurate statements on Democracy’s true condition from its supposed carers.
The ordinary citizens rallying to protect Democracy named the virus “Maorification”
Ethnic sorcerers and shamans were beginning to exert influence over the principal assemblage, those who were elected and charged with protecting Democracy.
Around the same time, this alarm was further heightened when it was found the Main Stream Media, they whom Democracy relied upon to hold the protectors to account and whom Democracy expected to customarily hold errant politicians to account, to challenge their decisions and concepts, to be the “voice” of the general populace, had also be struck with a cruel malaise.
It soon became evident that the Main Stream Media were severely infected. It turns out they had been administered the PIJF virus, causing complete blindness in one eye. The purported protectors of Democracy swiftly allocated $55million for MSM care and support.
What would further add to the country’s miseries, the purported protectors of Democracy, in August 2019, secretly, commissioned an ethnic working group made up of ideologically educated and radically driven mediums and sages to deliver a “Final Solution”, just in case Democracy exhibited signs of fighting back.
On 14 July 2020, one St Jude was elected leader of “The Blues” following the abrupt resignation of the incumbent earlier that day.
St Jude tried valiantly to pressure Democracy’s so called protectors to do the right thing by providing adequate guardianship, nurture and care for Democracy.
As you might expect, St Jude’s assertions and entreaties simply fell on deaf ears. Worryingly, not only was it Democracy’s supposed protectors that had who had been struck deaf, dumb and blind, but many of the general citizenry were unable to see or comprehend that “Maorification” was beginning an incremental, but steady, erosion of Democracy’s life force.
Come 6th November 2020, Democracy’s condition took a significant turn for the worse. One of Democracy’s co lead physicians/protectors and one of the more shrewd and some believed, more lucid protectors, Dr Winnie, was discharged and Democracy was admitted to ICU in early 2021.
The demise of Dr Winnie saw ethnic sorcerers and shamans being afforded free reign over the lead physician/protector, pushing and demanding their practices, customs and programmes take precedent over the majority’s needs.
In April 2021, The Blues revealed the secret “Final Solution” developed by the ethnic working group turned out to be a sub strain, but more virulent strain of the “Maorification” virus, identified as He Puapua.
St Jude, on July 16th 2021, sensing the gravity of the situation launched a new, hard hitting remedy, “He Puapua: Demand the Debate.” Large blue billboards bearing her picture and the message sprung up around the country.
Unfortunately for Democracy on 25 November 2021, St Jude was rolled as the timorous members of The Blues were becoming increasingly nervous about the “pile on” and “racist” taunts created by their patronage of Democracy.
Concerned citizens, worried about the ever increasing authoritarianism of Democracy’s lead protector, in February 2022, began a protest by occupying the grounds of Parliament House.
Although Democracy’s lead physician/protector was alarmed at the level of antipathy towards her and her fellow protectors, she refused to meet with the antagonists, crying, “This is not the way we protest in New Zealand!” That statement was met with a chorus of “This is not the way we govern in New Zealand!”
The Ethnic sorcerers and shamans influence and manipulation continued to grow. They claimed Democracy was unable to champion or provide their needs. Arguing their needs were greater and pre-eminent than those of the majority!
More money and privileges were shovelled into the pockets of the ethnic sorcerers and shamans.
Their demands and protestations grew to the extent that on 1 July 2022, their demands for an ethnic centric health care entity were met and Te Whatu Ora was formally launched. Inexplicably, they still continued to argue Democracy was still not able to provide their needs???
In January 2023, astonishingly and ominously, it was confirmed that Democracy was being deliberately poisoned. The lead physician/protector was acknowledged as sanctioning the poisoning, she resigned, saying she was “outta gas” and not long after, decamped overseas.
Chippy, the replacement highest-ranking carer, changed Democracy’s diet to bread and butter and Democracy’s condition showed a slight improvement.
Chippy offered some placebos and palliatives but the politically astute could see that they were simply temporary pacifiers!
The MSM, still suffering from the PIJF virus, continued to extoll the virtues of Chippy and the purported protectors of Democracy.
All the while Democracy’s health continued its decline. By this time, Democracy was nearing the need for life support.
All through the 2020 – 2023 period the people to whom democracy was a sacred treasure were searching for a “messiah” to whom they could turn to as a saviour. Would it be the man who claimed he could “See More” of what Democracy needed to make a full recovery? Or would it be the ex, long distance traveller, St Christo?
Compounding Chippie’s misery as more of the the public woke up to the contagion was the fact that his crew of elite defenders couldn’t stop sabotaging their own perimeter. It was a carnival of self-inflicted wounds: the Transport guy hoarded airport stocks under the table, the Police Minister phoned the Commissioner for a live-radio chinwag, and the Justice Minister capped off the outbreak by getting arrested at a midnight car crash.
Foot shooting was becoming an epidemic!
As the 2023 election loomed, a sudden outbreak of clarity struck the electorate: citizens had finally woken up to the terminal threat the “Maorification” virus posed to Democracy’s frail immune system. The contagion was actively coddled by Chippie’s band of heavily subsidised, misfit caregivers. Meanwhile, Robbo—the nation’s chief bloodletter—diligently drained the treasury coffers dry, ensuring the virus spreaders remained lavishly funded while the country’s financial pulse flatlined.
Would the citizens be able to rally enough support to Democracy’s cause come October 14th and oust the mendacious protectors? That was the question many were asking!
So, so much depended on that occurring!
Well, on the evening of Saturday, 14 October 2023, we exuberantly thought that the “Maorification” virus was, if not quite dead and buried, its days were numbered!
The ex, long distance traveller, St Christo led the Blues to an election win promising he had formulated an antidote to the virus that, by now was spreading quite quickly through all facets of our lives and of government.
Denied an outright victory at the polls, St. Christo had no choice but to bring back from the dead, once more, Dr. Winnie, a forced resurrection made infinitely more painful by having to share the political operating theatre with a smug, scalpel-wielding Mr C. More to help manage the quarantine.
To keep Dr. Winnie and his voluble deputy, Shano Panza, contented, baubles of office and offerings in the form of a $1.2 billion regional capital pipeline were readily handed over by St Christo, not knowing it would be liberally laced with the “Maorification” virus before distribution.
St Christo promised the repeal and/or the abolishing of “Hot Button Items,” the issues that were causing so much anxiety among Democracy’s true supporters. The newly elected St Christo daringly wasted no time celebrating the spectacular public execution of the previous protectors pet projects: The Three Waters pipeline and the Maori Health Authority were dumped into the rubbish bin with maximum fanfare!
Throughout 2023, St. Christo practically wore out his soapbox proclaiming, “We do not support co-governance of public services.” Intoxicated by the hope of actual change, voters naively swallowed the spin, genuinely believing St. Christo possessed a backbone that was resolutely anti-co-governance in all its mutations.
Wrong!
No lockdowns for the Mainstream Media, of course. As apex carriers of the PIJF virus, they spent 2024 on a celebratory super-spreader tour, injecting the “Maorification” plague directly into the national bloodstream. Surely the righteous St. Christo would cut off their funding? Wishful thinking. It turns out Chippie and his chief bagman, Robbo, had safely sealed the antidote away until 2026.
A stunningly transparent, completely coincidental election-year insurance policy! But the true comedy arrived when St. Christo took office: the fearless leader miraculously lost the keys to the vault holding the antidote!
For nearly three years, St. Christo has marched the country down a path he utterly failed to mention while hunting for votes in 2023. Disappointment didn’t just abound; it metastasized. Were democracy’s faithful simply played for fools by St. Christo? In truth, the public was blinded by their own desperation. Blinded by desperation, they had spent the campaign hearing what they wanted to hear and seeing what they wanted to see, while St Christo quietly renewed the virus’s lease on life!
“Equal citizenship and equal opportunity.” It sits right there in the Blues’ founding charter, gathering dust in the corporate Values section. Yet lead carer St. Christo, blindly loyal fellow carers and the Blues board of directors all suffered from such profound cognitive blindness that they couldn’t see how this fundamental pledge explicitly contradicted the VIP treatment, customary therapeutics, and lucrative inducements they routinely injected straight into the veins of the minority.
It takes a truly spectacular level of brain-rot for the Blues leadership to recite those words with a straight face, completely oblivious to the fact that their daily practice consists of coddling an insatiable, high-decibel minority and aggressively funding the demise of democracy, now enlisting educators, judges, and intellectuals serving as the premier distribution network.
The long-held values of “Equal citizenship and equal opportunity” was being actively butchered by their own hands, sacrificed daily to feed the insatiable appetite of the Maorification virus.
Pee Kay writes he is from a generation where common sense, standards, integrity and honesty are fundamental attributes. This article was first published HERE
The ordinary citizens rallying to protect Democracy named the virus “Maorification”
Ethnic sorcerers and shamans were beginning to exert influence over the principal assemblage, those who were elected and charged with protecting Democracy.
Around the same time, this alarm was further heightened when it was found the Main Stream Media, they whom Democracy relied upon to hold the protectors to account and whom Democracy expected to customarily hold errant politicians to account, to challenge their decisions and concepts, to be the “voice” of the general populace, had also be struck with a cruel malaise.
It soon became evident that the Main Stream Media were severely infected. It turns out they had been administered the PIJF virus, causing complete blindness in one eye. The purported protectors of Democracy swiftly allocated $55million for MSM care and support.
What would further add to the country’s miseries, the purported protectors of Democracy, in August 2019, secretly, commissioned an ethnic working group made up of ideologically educated and radically driven mediums and sages to deliver a “Final Solution”, just in case Democracy exhibited signs of fighting back.
On 14 July 2020, one St Jude was elected leader of “The Blues” following the abrupt resignation of the incumbent earlier that day.
St Jude tried valiantly to pressure Democracy’s so called protectors to do the right thing by providing adequate guardianship, nurture and care for Democracy.
As you might expect, St Jude’s assertions and entreaties simply fell on deaf ears. Worryingly, not only was it Democracy’s supposed protectors that had who had been struck deaf, dumb and blind, but many of the general citizenry were unable to see or comprehend that “Maorification” was beginning an incremental, but steady, erosion of Democracy’s life force.
Come 6th November 2020, Democracy’s condition took a significant turn for the worse. One of Democracy’s co lead physicians/protectors and one of the more shrewd and some believed, more lucid protectors, Dr Winnie, was discharged and Democracy was admitted to ICU in early 2021.
The demise of Dr Winnie saw ethnic sorcerers and shamans being afforded free reign over the lead physician/protector, pushing and demanding their practices, customs and programmes take precedent over the majority’s needs.
In April 2021, The Blues revealed the secret “Final Solution” developed by the ethnic working group turned out to be a sub strain, but more virulent strain of the “Maorification” virus, identified as He Puapua.
St Jude, on July 16th 2021, sensing the gravity of the situation launched a new, hard hitting remedy, “He Puapua: Demand the Debate.” Large blue billboards bearing her picture and the message sprung up around the country.
Unfortunately for Democracy on 25 November 2021, St Jude was rolled as the timorous members of The Blues were becoming increasingly nervous about the “pile on” and “racist” taunts created by their patronage of Democracy.
Concerned citizens, worried about the ever increasing authoritarianism of Democracy’s lead protector, in February 2022, began a protest by occupying the grounds of Parliament House.
Although Democracy’s lead physician/protector was alarmed at the level of antipathy towards her and her fellow protectors, she refused to meet with the antagonists, crying, “This is not the way we protest in New Zealand!” That statement was met with a chorus of “This is not the way we govern in New Zealand!”
The Ethnic sorcerers and shamans influence and manipulation continued to grow. They claimed Democracy was unable to champion or provide their needs. Arguing their needs were greater and pre-eminent than those of the majority!
More money and privileges were shovelled into the pockets of the ethnic sorcerers and shamans.
Their demands and protestations grew to the extent that on 1 July 2022, their demands for an ethnic centric health care entity were met and Te Whatu Ora was formally launched. Inexplicably, they still continued to argue Democracy was still not able to provide their needs???
In January 2023, astonishingly and ominously, it was confirmed that Democracy was being deliberately poisoned. The lead physician/protector was acknowledged as sanctioning the poisoning, she resigned, saying she was “outta gas” and not long after, decamped overseas.
Chippy, the replacement highest-ranking carer, changed Democracy’s diet to bread and butter and Democracy’s condition showed a slight improvement.
Chippy offered some placebos and palliatives but the politically astute could see that they were simply temporary pacifiers!
The MSM, still suffering from the PIJF virus, continued to extoll the virtues of Chippy and the purported protectors of Democracy.
All the while Democracy’s health continued its decline. By this time, Democracy was nearing the need for life support.
All through the 2020 – 2023 period the people to whom democracy was a sacred treasure were searching for a “messiah” to whom they could turn to as a saviour. Would it be the man who claimed he could “See More” of what Democracy needed to make a full recovery? Or would it be the ex, long distance traveller, St Christo?
Compounding Chippie’s misery as more of the the public woke up to the contagion was the fact that his crew of elite defenders couldn’t stop sabotaging their own perimeter. It was a carnival of self-inflicted wounds: the Transport guy hoarded airport stocks under the table, the Police Minister phoned the Commissioner for a live-radio chinwag, and the Justice Minister capped off the outbreak by getting arrested at a midnight car crash.
Foot shooting was becoming an epidemic!
As the 2023 election loomed, a sudden outbreak of clarity struck the electorate: citizens had finally woken up to the terminal threat the “Maorification” virus posed to Democracy’s frail immune system. The contagion was actively coddled by Chippie’s band of heavily subsidised, misfit caregivers. Meanwhile, Robbo—the nation’s chief bloodletter—diligently drained the treasury coffers dry, ensuring the virus spreaders remained lavishly funded while the country’s financial pulse flatlined.
Would the citizens be able to rally enough support to Democracy’s cause come October 14th and oust the mendacious protectors? That was the question many were asking!
So, so much depended on that occurring!
Well, on the evening of Saturday, 14 October 2023, we exuberantly thought that the “Maorification” virus was, if not quite dead and buried, its days were numbered!
The ex, long distance traveller, St Christo led the Blues to an election win promising he had formulated an antidote to the virus that, by now was spreading quite quickly through all facets of our lives and of government.
Denied an outright victory at the polls, St. Christo had no choice but to bring back from the dead, once more, Dr. Winnie, a forced resurrection made infinitely more painful by having to share the political operating theatre with a smug, scalpel-wielding Mr C. More to help manage the quarantine.
To keep Dr. Winnie and his voluble deputy, Shano Panza, contented, baubles of office and offerings in the form of a $1.2 billion regional capital pipeline were readily handed over by St Christo, not knowing it would be liberally laced with the “Maorification” virus before distribution.
St Christo promised the repeal and/or the abolishing of “Hot Button Items,” the issues that were causing so much anxiety among Democracy’s true supporters. The newly elected St Christo daringly wasted no time celebrating the spectacular public execution of the previous protectors pet projects: The Three Waters pipeline and the Maori Health Authority were dumped into the rubbish bin with maximum fanfare!
Throughout 2023, St. Christo practically wore out his soapbox proclaiming, “We do not support co-governance of public services.” Intoxicated by the hope of actual change, voters naively swallowed the spin, genuinely believing St. Christo possessed a backbone that was resolutely anti-co-governance in all its mutations.
Wrong!
No lockdowns for the Mainstream Media, of course. As apex carriers of the PIJF virus, they spent 2024 on a celebratory super-spreader tour, injecting the “Maorification” plague directly into the national bloodstream. Surely the righteous St. Christo would cut off their funding? Wishful thinking. It turns out Chippie and his chief bagman, Robbo, had safely sealed the antidote away until 2026.
A stunningly transparent, completely coincidental election-year insurance policy! But the true comedy arrived when St. Christo took office: the fearless leader miraculously lost the keys to the vault holding the antidote!
For nearly three years, St. Christo has marched the country down a path he utterly failed to mention while hunting for votes in 2023. Disappointment didn’t just abound; it metastasized. Were democracy’s faithful simply played for fools by St. Christo? In truth, the public was blinded by their own desperation. Blinded by desperation, they had spent the campaign hearing what they wanted to hear and seeing what they wanted to see, while St Christo quietly renewed the virus’s lease on life!
“Equal citizenship and equal opportunity.” It sits right there in the Blues’ founding charter, gathering dust in the corporate Values section. Yet lead carer St. Christo, blindly loyal fellow carers and the Blues board of directors all suffered from such profound cognitive blindness that they couldn’t see how this fundamental pledge explicitly contradicted the VIP treatment, customary therapeutics, and lucrative inducements they routinely injected straight into the veins of the minority.
It takes a truly spectacular level of brain-rot for the Blues leadership to recite those words with a straight face, completely oblivious to the fact that their daily practice consists of coddling an insatiable, high-decibel minority and aggressively funding the demise of democracy, now enlisting educators, judges, and intellectuals serving as the premier distribution network.
The long-held values of “Equal citizenship and equal opportunity” was being actively butchered by their own hands, sacrificed daily to feed the insatiable appetite of the Maorification virus.
Pee Kay writes he is from a generation where common sense, standards, integrity and honesty are fundamental attributes. This article was first published HERE

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