Capitalist: You Only Have Rights if Left-Wingers Agree with You

Many years ago at the ripe old age of eight years, I decided to live forever. Apart from an incurable blood disorder (haemophilia), and a rather unfortunate mistake by a pissed surgeon during an operation in 2000 which took three years to recover from, my plan is working quite well.

With eternity in mind; last year I bought Nufarm Finance bonds and today is the date for the latest ‘vig’ payment (which has indeed sailed into the bank whilst I’ve been writing this article). These bonds have a “maturity” date of January 1st 3000 and pay an interest rate of 8.3% – which works out over 977 years to $6.874609890631472e+40 (whatever that means!).