So when I hear people say they’re proud to be a New Zealander, I flinch. First because of their language misuse, pride after all relating to accomplishment and simply being born is hardly an achievement.
On the other side of the ledger there’s two uniquely New Zealand occurrences that have made me embarrassed to be a Kiwi.
The first was the Jacindamania insanity (for which I don’t blame Jacinda) when the nation lost its sanity.
The old boxing adage, “the bigger they are, the harder they fall” springs to mind when having initially decided Jacinda was the second coming, this insanity then swung 180 degrees to equally irrational hatred, which prevails still today.
The other national embarrassment is the bloody haka.
If readers don’t share that antipathy (and I suspect most don’t) then I challenge them to try this.
The next time you’re watching the All Blacks haka, turn the sound off. Trust me, that will convert you instantly to my view of this massive embarrassment as you watch adult men, eyes blazing, infantile co-ordinated ape-like prancing, tongues out, reducing themselves to world class buffoons.
Sir Bob Jones is a renowned author, columnist , property investor, and former politician, who blogs at No Punches Pulled HERE - where this article was sourced.
The first was the Jacindamania insanity (for which I don’t blame Jacinda) when the nation lost its sanity.
The old boxing adage, “the bigger they are, the harder they fall” springs to mind when having initially decided Jacinda was the second coming, this insanity then swung 180 degrees to equally irrational hatred, which prevails still today.
The other national embarrassment is the bloody haka.
If readers don’t share that antipathy (and I suspect most don’t) then I challenge them to try this.
The next time you’re watching the All Blacks haka, turn the sound off. Trust me, that will convert you instantly to my view of this massive embarrassment as you watch adult men, eyes blazing, infantile co-ordinated ape-like prancing, tongues out, reducing themselves to world class buffoons.
Sir Bob Jones is a renowned author, columnist , property investor, and former politician, who blogs at No Punches Pulled HERE - where this article was sourced.
12 comments:
I whole heartedly agree....however 'blasphemous' it is to say so ! ;-)
The haka is hideous.
Hear, hear and amen to all that Sir Bob! When I see the haka I change channel - it is so inane. We are no longer in the Stone Age so why is it so glorified?
Jacindamania that I never had only a hatred for her deceiving and manipulative ways which I believe Sir Bob you were able to assist her. Well done.
Do you get a medal?
Haka epitomises Maori warfare i.e. attempts to intimidate opposition into subservience. Pulling ugly faces may well have scared fellow Maori when weapons were wood and stone meres (being an indicator of the state of Maori civilization John Banks may once alluded to - before being banished), but I'm not sure the haka has the same effect on the Springbok.
As to the lexicon of New Zealanders or more precisely, the enunciations by many? As you say Sir Bob, after residence abroad for some time, returning to the Land of the Long Black Cloud, listening to the pronunciation of many New Zealanders and the penchant for speaking with the mouths almost closed, is difficult not to notice.
Alarmingly, in my view, the oral presentation of eminent legal persons - such as on display during the Polkinghorne parody, sadly lacked the aplomb of David Baragwanath and others of his ilk in days gone by.
On the one hand, Jones claims that everyone is the same. On the other hand, he cringes at the sight of the haka, presumably because it's such an alien spectacle to a White guy like Bob, thus suggesting that we're not all the same after all.
Does the advocate of cosmopolitan transnationalism Jones spend any time in sub Saharan Africa or in the Hood in Chicago or Baltimore? I doubt it, because he acts like people are very different, despite his claims to the contrary.
I too cringe at the haka. As a nation relying extensively on food exports we should endeavour to project as an advanced country likely to have food scrutiny standards to match. Instead we perform a stone age cannibal war dance in an effort to convince the world that we are on a level with the likes of highland natives of New Guinea. Discerning potential immigrants perceive that the country is largely controlled by a stone age culture, a not incorrect conclusion. So NZ is for them at best only a destination to the extent that it can be used as a stepping stone to somewhere fully civilised. However I do enjoy the kapa haka versions. Very pale, grossly overweight, lumps of quivering lard demonstrate that colonisation very effectively released the fat of the land to them.
The Haka is certainly primitive but compared to the frightening challenge that dignitaries must endure before entering the Marae it is benign and distant.
The Haka is indeed cringingly embarrassing although I'm resigned to this being a minority view.
I blame television and its need to get up and close to everything. In my opinion a mountain is more interesting from afar than when standing on it.
Likewise the haka. I saw the All Blacks perform it at Twickenham. Spread out across the field, viewed from afar (and sitting amongst the enemy), it was an awe-inspiring sight and very powerful. Not so much when the cameras are up close thereby exposing it for the ridiculous performance that it is.
When I see the haka it puts me in mind of the 'That's Not a Knife' scene from Crocodile Dundee.
Sir Robert forgot to ad to "His list", is the subservience's of New Zealander's to Rugby, led by the MSM Sports writers, and their continuing opines on everything All Black, aided an abetted by their Radio Counterparts - the only time this sport is not reported is when a New Zealand sports team "loses a game" after all their hype printed and/or spoken about their chances-
Olympic Games it the best time to see this - or when Lydia Ko wins. Do not like the Haka, easy turn the telly off (which might cause conflict with the rugby fans) , or change channels.
I usually watch the rugby on Sky. I make a point of watching on delay - five or so minutes. That enables me to fast forward and dodge the haka completely. Pick up the game from actual kick-off. Would like to see overseas rugby administrators ban the haka outright. That way we would then endure it for home games only. Or if we must have hakas why not have a haka party perform as half time entertainment. All Blacks could then keep their focus on the game.
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