Clive Bibby: Running on Empty- it doesn't have to signal the end is nigh

In some ways, I'm quite proud of the fact that most of my adult life has been spent struggling to survive during events that are not of our making - we are survivors!

My guess is that a good dollop of the population can identify with that rather negative claim but it would be a mistake to assume that those like me are living an unfulfilled existence.

Because real satisfaction can only come when you look back at what you have achieved based on the opportunities you have been given.

And using that method of analysis, the first thing that becomes obvious is that real achievement has very little to do with money.

In fact, dare I suggest that most people when asked to prioritize their greatest personal achievements would rate things like nurturing and guiding children through to adulthood as top of the list.

All the rest comes a distant second. And it isn't hard to see why that is so.

Firstly, because in the modern world with its "dog eat dog" mentality, it is such a very hard thing to do.

Secondly, it is not something that can be achieved simply by throwing money at it.

Dysfunctional families abound in just as many rich families as those who are poor.

Sure a certain amount of many is a critical factor in survival these days but it is not the most important ingredient.

For patents of the next generation, it all depends on the priorities they set themselves and the commitment to the responsibilities that come with a decision to bring children into the world.

And here's the thing.

In that context, the greatest sense of achievement is to have brought up children to simply become decent human beings who have accepted their own responsibilities to their fellow human beings - "we are our brother's keeper"

In my family's case, my wife must take most of the credit for the wonderful adults our three have become. - all because she had to do it almost single handedly while I was working 7 days a week in order to keep us afloat financially.

I must add that one of the benefits of growing up in a farming family is that in the majority of cases, for whatever reason, the children have to learn to contribute towards the family survival.

While it isn't something that is always done willingly, it is great character building and sets them up for latter life when their own family faces challenges.

My own experience is one where I rate my greatest personal achievements as being assisting less fortunate people create things that benefit themselves and their own community.

My career choices have been less rewarding but nonetheless quite satisfying.

I am generally happy with the choices I have made in spite of the fact that in hindsight, a number of them, I wouldn't make again.

Finally, all this looking back is really about individual priority setting.

While it is perfectly reasonable, even desirable for young people to make career choices that require considerable effort involving time and money, my humble advice is that when setting priorities they should maintain a list where family relationships are top.

And at 81 years old, I can safely say that by doing so, one's life's achievements will also provide the greatest satisfaction.

All the things in that category are priceless so throw away any thought that money will determine success - in the things that really matter, the holding stuff has little to do with it.

Clive Bibby is a commentator, consultant, farmer and community leader, who lives in Tolaga Bay.