Growing up surrounded by drugs, abuse and neglect is not the best way for a child to start life.
But somehow, Cove Lambert has managed to come out the other side very well adjusted.
And now, the 18-year-old University of Otago first-year health sciences student hopes his story will show other young people with equally horrifying upbringings that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
“I missed quite a lot of primary school because we were just moving around so much.
“It took quite a toll on my social ability to interact with other people and make good connections.”
When he was 12, the government intervened and he and his four siblings were split up and put in foster care.
“I don’t blame Mum for that. I just think she was trying to survive.”
Despite a horrific upbringing, his life never spiralled out of control and he always remained on the right side of the law, because he wanted to be a good role model to his younger brothers and sisters.
“They were looking up to me for support all the time.
“I’ve always been a very driven person in life, and I always try to look on the brighter side of things.
“I feel like if you dwell on the negative aspects of your life, it’s just going to hold you back from living happily, doing what you want to do and achieving what you want to achieve.”
He praised his foster parents for providing the love and stability he needed to succeed — particularly in school.
In year 11, he also had very supportive science teachers who inspired him to think about what his future might look like.
“They prompted me in the right direction, to stuff I enjoyed.
“Throughout my high school years, I was encouraged and shown the pathway to where I am now.” . .
This reminds me of the anecdote about two brothers whose father was either in jail, or out of jail committing the crimes that would put in back in jail when they were growing up.
One brother followed his father into a life of crime, the other did the opposite holding down a good job, with a good marriage and being a good father.
When asked why they were the way the were both gave the same answer: with a father like mine how could I be anything else?
Growing up in a stable, loving family increases the chances of good outcomes for children, although children with the best of parents can turn bad.
Growing up without a stable, loving family increases the chances of bad outcomes, although children with the worst of parents can turn out good.
There’s always a choice and while there are some things we can’t control, we are all ultimately responsible for our choices.
Ele Ludemann is a North Otago farmer and journalist, who blogs HERE - where this article was sourced.
2 comments:
Fostering tends to come in for some flak, but this narrative shows that good fostering can make up for bad parenting.
This reminds me of the great, Thomas Sowell - someone who had hardly an easy start in life, but went on to achieve more the most of us could ever hope to even in several lifetimes.
Noteworthy, and to add another twist, one of his many quotes: "If you cannot achieve equality of performance among people born to the same parents and raised under the same roof, how realistic is it to expect to achieve it across broader and deeper social divisions?"
But I don't think he or anyone doubts, having two parents and a stable home increases the chances of a good outcome substantially. Instilling character, which involves personal responsibility, can't be beat.
Good on Cove, we need more role models like him!
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