Bob (Sir Robert) Jones has died aged 85. Bob was one of my favourite authors growing up, and I was fortunate enough to get to know him quite well in recent times. His larrikin sense of humour will be sadly missed – we need more in his mould.
In 1973 he published a book called “The first twelve months : a study of the achievements of the third Labour government in 1973”. It was 100 blank pages.
Later on he put up a pole in Wellington measuring the credibility of the Government. Every few weeks he would lower it. Then he started digging a hole. Finally he wrote to the Mayor of a city in Spain that is opposite Wellington and asked them to put up a pole there as the credibility had dropped so much, it had burrowed through the planet.
Other stunts includes the many humorous billboards such as “Mat Rata reads comics” and gatecrashing an interview with Bill Rowling with a human sized mouse.
He was a supporter of Muldoon but then became an implacable opponent as Muldoon went interventionist. His New Zealand Party in 1984 played a role in defeating the Muldoon Government. Later on though Bob organised a surprise farewell dinner for Muldoon as he was preparing to leave Parliament, as he was outraged no one else was doing anything.
I have read every single one of his books (and have many signed editions). My favourites by far were his “Letters” which were sidesplittingly funny as he dealt out humour and generosity to nuns and others. His letters to Sir Ron Brierley as a “gravely concerned shareholder” (he had one share) were especially great. Also great were his letters with the Secretary of Transport over his speeding tickets and his reference to various officers as “Moustached dwarves of indeterminate gender”. The Secretary made the mistake of asking if he could just refer to them as Officer X, and Bob replied that he doesn’t called the garbage collector “Garbage Collector X” and as that his a similar status to a traffic officer, why would he call them Office X.
I first met Bob in person in 2005. I was involved with the campaign against the Electoral Finance Bill that could have criminalised sending an e-mail that discussed policy. A colleague was meeting Bob to see if he was interested in relaunching the New Zealand Party with the sole purpose of repealing the law. Bob had some questions on the proposed law, and I was the expert on it so around 2 pm I got a phone call asking if I could pop over and join the meeting.
14 hours later at 4 am I staggered out of his building, having drunk more wine than I thought was possible. I lurched into the nearby petrol station and wolfed down a pie, as the 14 hours of talking and drinking with Bob involved much wine but little food.
Since then I’ve been a guest at his house (his parties are legendary – as is the view), and even helped him set up his own blog. I managed to hide from him that I was once a scout leader (he viewed them all as clones of Bill Rowling) but he still managed to find many things to hassle me about over the years.
In recent years I would often see him at the Taxpayers’ Union office as he was their landlord. He would often sit down for drinks with the staff, and provoke various degrees of outrage and amusement from them. He loved to be provocative, but it was never in a nasty way. It was always with humour.
New Zealand is the better for Bob Jones. He contributed so much in business, in politics, in sports (boxing) in literature and in humour.He will be greatly missed, and I hope his style of irrelevant humour will not pass away with him.
David Farrar runs Curia Market Research, a specialist opinion polling and research agency, and the popular Kiwiblog where this article was sourced. He previously worked in the Parliament for eight years, serving two National Party Prime Ministers and three Opposition Leaders.
Other stunts includes the many humorous billboards such as “Mat Rata reads comics” and gatecrashing an interview with Bill Rowling with a human sized mouse.
He was a supporter of Muldoon but then became an implacable opponent as Muldoon went interventionist. His New Zealand Party in 1984 played a role in defeating the Muldoon Government. Later on though Bob organised a surprise farewell dinner for Muldoon as he was preparing to leave Parliament, as he was outraged no one else was doing anything.
I have read every single one of his books (and have many signed editions). My favourites by far were his “Letters” which were sidesplittingly funny as he dealt out humour and generosity to nuns and others. His letters to Sir Ron Brierley as a “gravely concerned shareholder” (he had one share) were especially great. Also great were his letters with the Secretary of Transport over his speeding tickets and his reference to various officers as “Moustached dwarves of indeterminate gender”. The Secretary made the mistake of asking if he could just refer to them as Officer X, and Bob replied that he doesn’t called the garbage collector “Garbage Collector X” and as that his a similar status to a traffic officer, why would he call them Office X.
I first met Bob in person in 2005. I was involved with the campaign against the Electoral Finance Bill that could have criminalised sending an e-mail that discussed policy. A colleague was meeting Bob to see if he was interested in relaunching the New Zealand Party with the sole purpose of repealing the law. Bob had some questions on the proposed law, and I was the expert on it so around 2 pm I got a phone call asking if I could pop over and join the meeting.
14 hours later at 4 am I staggered out of his building, having drunk more wine than I thought was possible. I lurched into the nearby petrol station and wolfed down a pie, as the 14 hours of talking and drinking with Bob involved much wine but little food.
Since then I’ve been a guest at his house (his parties are legendary – as is the view), and even helped him set up his own blog. I managed to hide from him that I was once a scout leader (he viewed them all as clones of Bill Rowling) but he still managed to find many things to hassle me about over the years.
In recent years I would often see him at the Taxpayers’ Union office as he was their landlord. He would often sit down for drinks with the staff, and provoke various degrees of outrage and amusement from them. He loved to be provocative, but it was never in a nasty way. It was always with humour.
New Zealand is the better for Bob Jones. He contributed so much in business, in politics, in sports (boxing) in literature and in humour.He will be greatly missed, and I hope his style of irrelevant humour will not pass away with him.
David Farrar runs Curia Market Research, a specialist opinion polling and research agency, and the popular Kiwiblog where this article was sourced. He previously worked in the Parliament for eight years, serving two National Party Prime Ministers and three Opposition Leaders.
18 comments:
RIP, Sir Bob.
I have two of his books - Letters and Degrees for Everyone.
Both excellent and humorous.
Excellent article, David. you pay tribute to Sir Bob very respectfully.
Like you, I find "Letters" to be a very, very entertaining read, with Bob's piercing wit throughout.
RIP, Bob. Another soldier gone.
We are a poorer Nation today, than we were yesterday.
Totally agree, a valuable part of the societal texture largely missing in NZ.
have enjoyed his recent blog and will miss it.
His wit will be missed.
Nice tribute - I think that the "style of irrelevant humour" mentioned above probably meant to say "style of irreverent humour".
Bugger.
I'll miss him.
You got it !
Me Too !!
It is such a shame that SBJ didn't take up my suggestion and compile some of his best articles in his No Punches Pulled blog, publish them and then donate the profits to one of his many philanthropic interests.
Such an excellent mind that could think and write in such a provocative, entertaining manner.
With due respect, even though this is typed with one finger on a phone, I've done it very carefully with my very best punctuation and grammar, which he always demanded.
A fine example of what can be achieved by everyone, no matter their background and upbringing.
It may not be generally known but another stalwart and pricker of egos, Bob Brockie died 2 days ago, age 93. We had been friends for many years. Not so Bob Jones, but we were at Naenae College together (he a year ahead) and his exploits and disregard for authority are still remembered by us old buggers. Vale to both.
Very sad news about Bob. He is the one notable NZer I would like to have met (although myself having been a govt employee he would have been bored silly. One redeeming fact; I never wore grey shoes.) Bob annoyed the literary set because he could match most of them despite, from his own statements, being only half sober when writing. And he was more than a match for reporters. His books, including collections of short newspaper contributions, are still a good bedtime read. He was surely the widest read person in NZ ,and he understood and remembered it all. (Despite which he managed to dodge a tax conviction on the basis of pleaded ignorance!).At least until very recently he wrote all communications long hand and eschewed mobile phones.
With sufficient descendants to utilise at least a fraction of his fortune, he has led a more rational life than many other tycoons. With no recent sign of Tremaine there now seems to be no one remaining in NZ with a sense of humour.
RIP Sir Bob, your intelligence and spirit will be missed.
I have a story. I didn't really know bob well, but we always acknowledged each other. I had discussed several things with him over the years.
This particular night i was in juniper with a friend. We were around the back and no one else was there. This chap walked in, it was Bob. He headed straight for us. He walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. " I've booked this whole place out, you chaps are going to have to leave immediately " he declared. My friend and I looked at each other and then back to Bob. Then a big smile appeared on his face, then he started to laugh.
He had got me good.
I turned to him and said " F@#k off Bob ". He left with a smile.
I tell people the story of the day I told the great SRJ to f off . Even with more fondness now.
RIP Bob.
Well said, Robert.
When, presumably and solely out of commercial consideration of his property empire, Sir Bob withdrew his court case defence against the wench who took umbridge at a wry comment which did not pander to maori, I considered the day should have been delared and recognised as NZ Demise of Humour Day. More appropriately the date of his death should now be adopted. With the msm and persons of his standing cowed by consideratons of cancellation, the outlook for NZ is indeed grim.
A bastion of free speech, antidote to political correctness, a wicked Monty Python sense of humour…who will now step into those shoes?
I know i know it is so very very sad to have lost his wonderful wit!
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