Clive Bibby: Time passes but real friendships endure

A recent encounter with an old school mate from 1958 has provided the opportunity to share a story which reflects on a bygone era that helped to make us what we are today.

Sadly, due to the selfish and deliberately divisive activities of some modern politicians and community leaders, those days of racial harmony appear lost forever.

However, for what it is worth, this is my tale.

It is the story of an enduring friendship between two pioneer Hawkes Bay families who lived and worked together in CHB in the late 1800s. It is the story of survival at a time when Maori/Pakeha relationships were just emerging from the Treaty Signing and looking for partners in business, educational and spiritual opportunities that would include all peoples living in the developing communities they had inherited.

One of the families was led by the Kahungunu Paramount Chief of the time - Te Hapuku who lived at Te Hauke im CHB and the other was led by my Greatgrandfather Edward Bibby Senior who opened the first General Store in Waipawa in 1862.

Given that Waipawa was to become the largest inland town in Hawkes Bay at the time with little else in between, it was no surprise that Te Hapuku and his wives frequented the Bibby Store on a regular basis and that a friendship between the families developed that has lasted until this day.

This friendship has endured mainly based on mutual respect and trust - the single most important ingredients in any lasting relationship of any type.

So much so that only last week on return from an across country trip, we called in to the HB Museum in Napier where the curator had arranged a meeting between myself and my old school mate, Kaumatua Jerry Hapuku who l had not seen since 1958 - the last operating year of the Waipawa District High School before it merged with Waipukurau DHS to form the CHB College.

Although Jerry and I had not enjoyed each other's company for such a long period of our lives, our respective responsibilities as kaitiakii of family heirlooms dating back to the 1870s immediately set the tone for discussions that quickly brought back memories of our teenage years together.

Not only were we able to recall events that occurred during our own lifetimes, but more importantlyable to focus of a couple of Pre European Maori war clubs (a tewha tewha and taiaha) two clubs that had been used in tribal combat pre the Treaty Signing.

These clubs currently form part of a gift from Te Hapuku to my Greatgrandfather about 1870 as a token of the enduring friendship between the families.

The gift cemented our families’ close association and epitomised the public mood at the time immediately following the treaty signing.

It was a period in our nation's history that was full of promise, justifiable expectation and mutual respect - so much of which appears sadly lacking in today's society.

From a purely selfish point of view, this enduring relationship is the source of much personal satisfaction and it is not the families fault that the previously enduring climate of goodwill no longer exists to the same extent in modern society.

But it does show what might have been had those of recent times with responsibility to lead, spent more time giving of themselves rather than squabbling over how we should distribute the Nation's resources equally amongst those who need it most.

Clearly things need to change before we destroy what we once thought was a real possibility ie. the true egalitarian society that now unfortunately looks only to be a pipe dream.

Ever the optimist - while there is life, there is hope!

Clive Bibby is a commentator, consultant, farmer and community leader, who lives in Tolaga Bay.