January 2023. It all started so well.
- The economy and cost-of-living crisis are now worse
- Staff shortages are causing business closures as people emigrate or snuggle up to their guaranteed, no-strings-attached benefits package
- Three Waters survived the purges and is actively recruiting personnel and wasting money hand over fist
- Wanted posters - Dead (preferably) or Alive (if you’re squeamish) - are on every lamppost looking for the Minister for Auckland who has continued his dire record of failed policies and was last seen on CCTV boarding Te Huia, heading south.
- It’s nigh impossible to find a liquor store that isn’t boarded up, so you can’t even drown your sorrows with a stiff whisky or gin.
- International tourist numbers are still well down and four out of five visitors to NZ would rather camp than stay in a motel and think ram-raiding is the country’s national sport.