Anonymous: Extracting the Self - A Survivor’s Account of Spiritual Coercion

The following account is published as Anonymous to protect the privacy and safety of the individuals involved. The experiences described are a faithful record of the author’s journey through a high-control spiritual environment

The journey into this story began not with a deep spiritual calling, but with the simple, traditional craft of Maori flax weaving. It was a comfortable entry point into a new community and culture. Over several years, a friendly acquaintance evolved into a complex relationship that slowly blurred the lines between cultural exchange, spiritual guidance, and controlling influence.

This account details a personal and increasingly concerning journey into a high-control environment that operated under the guise of Maori healing. It is a cautionary tale that explores the subtle, often invisible, tactics through which enthusiasm and trust can be leveraged into obligation and fear.

The following narrative is shared to highlight the warning signs many miss: when an invitation to heal becomes a mandate for obedience, when community support shifts to intense surveillance via social media, and when personal agency is systematically eroded by demands to conform to a leader’s "channelled" truths. It describes a progression from gentle instruction to aggressive rituals that left the participant physically and emotionally compromised.

This is the story of how an individual found herself in a situation she struggled to escape, and the journey of recognizing the red flags - from the misuse of trance states and demands for financial contributions ("koha") to the imposition of shifting, contradictory health mandates - and ultimately, finding the strength to walk away. It is an account of spiritual survival and a powerful reminder that true healing should never involve bullying, coercion, or the loss of one's own voice.

This account outlines a journey from a simple flax-weaving class into an increasingly intense and controlling spiritual environment. What began as a traditional craft evolved over several years into a complex web of rituals, "alien" trances, and mandatory ceremonies that left the participant feeling physically and emotionally compromised.

From Tradition to Control

The involvement started in 2005 with a certificate in weaving, but the relationship shifted when the participant was later recruited into a specific "healing" group. The training, conducted via social media and video calls, moved away from traditional methods toward a rigid system of "voice-message ceremonies" and mandatory daily tasks. The participant describes a growing pressure to conform to the leader’s specific "channelled" instructions, which included chanting in a way that induced a trance-like state.

The Blurring of Spiritual Practices

As the participant’s involvement deepened, the boundaries between different spiritual beliefs became blurred. At the suggestion of a friend, she began incorporating Druid spells, Norse mythology, and crystal cleansing into her daily life. This eclectic mix was further complicated by the introduction of others who claimed to see supernatural beings and who would fall into "alien-like" trances during home visits. The participant describes a sense of being "reserved" and confused, often performing prayers without understanding their meaning, yet feeling unable to stop the momentum of the group.

Coercion and Fear

The environment grew more taxing as the leader began issuing contradictory mandates regarding health and the law. While the group originally fostered an anti-vaccination stance - encouraging members to learn "common law" - the leadership suddenly shifted, claiming spiritual guidance now dictated that members must be vaccinated or face expulsion.

Caught between these shifting demands and the pressure of family life, the participant, already suffering from PTSD, became exhausted. The "healing" rituals became increasingly aggressive, involving "rituals with sticks" and "flicking branches" that the participant found unnatural and frightening.

The Graduation Ceremony

The pressure culminated in a graduation ceremony that the participant describes as a ritual of spiritual "possession" rather than a celebration. Participants were instructed to "catch the spirit" and inhale the breath of the leader. During the final chanting circle, the participant describes a physical and spiritual violation:

"It felt weird and unnatural. My higher self seemed to try to cough out the spirit we were told to catch... it hurt my heart with pain. I felt like I was going to die."

Despite the physical pain and the feeling of being in a trance, she felt unable to stop until the ceremony ended.

Summary of Concerns

This story serves as a cautionary account of how vulnerable individuals can be drawn into high-control groups under the guise of cultural healing or spiritual growth. The core concerns highlighted are:

• The use of "trance" states to bypass personal agency.
• Financial and emotional pressure to contribute "koha" to specific accounts.
• Aggressive physical rituals that cause pain or distress.
• Contradictory and shifting leadership mandates that isolate members from their families and legal realities.

Postscript:

Ultimately, the path back to oneself is often harder than the path that led away. By sharing this experience, the participant hopes to shine a light into the shadows of spiritual coercion, offering a lifeline to others who may feel similarly trapped. True spirituality should act as a bridge to greater connection and peace, not a cage of fear and exhaustion. Reclaiming one's voice after it has been drowned out by the chants of others is not just an act of survival; it is the first step toward genuine healing and the restoration of personal sovereignty.

Thank you to all who have been a huge support in helping me and my family to be able to move on with our lives, I am deeply grateful – Anonymous