A Satirical look at New Zealand Politics, 2017 – 2026
Can Democracy Be Saved
Though St Christo promised us remedies for the pathogen called the “Maorification” virus, would be found and administered in 2023, democracy’s ardent could see there was little doubt St Christo and Potaka the Provider, his specially selected agent, were actually and actively delivering more virus spores throughout the country.
Putting Potaka the Providor to great use, more of the virus was distributed via financial largess, empowerment and dispensed control. Agents of the state from public service, education, judiciary and academia willingly volunteered and were weaponised with the “Maorification” virus and Democracy was subjected to an ever wider attack!
Enter Mr C More. Now Mr C More, the clinical purist of the protectors who, ironically enough, carried the very genetics of the infected lineage he sought to treat. Brandishing a clipboard of strict libertarian calculations, Mr C More boldly rejected the prevailing consensus. He publicly dismissed the notion that the founding 1840 Charter of equality was ever meant to be a permanent, elite partnership.
Instead, he argued that the original treatment plan had left the general citizenry completely unprotected, a systemic malpractice that had never been rectified. His radical solution was to force a new, rigid clinical manual upon the protectors: a code dictating absolute, universal equality before the law for all.
In 2024 the attack intensified when the prescient Mr. C. More had the temerity to suggest all citizens of this country must be treated equally and more efforts must be made to define the legal rights of the citizenry and the protection of democracy.
His simple antidote for the “Maorification” virus was the “Treaty Principles Bill.”
Those who were immune to the “Maorification” virus, those who were the recipients of munificence and benefaction all mounted very high horses decrying the “Treaty Principles” and pronouncing its proponents were….. RACISTS!
The screams from the elite atop their high horses were cacophonous! They could see the ever flowing money stream they have become used to drying up. They could see paddocks of cash cows dead on the grounds of their taxpayer funded, tax exempt enterprises!
Early in 2025 St Christo, unsurprisingly, labelled the Bill “simplistic, divisive and unhelpful.”
Given the “brat in the Cowboy Hat” was calling for a separate minority ruled parliament it was clear, even to the deaf, dumb and blind kid, St Christo was, absurdly, swimming against the tide!
At this point the Blues party membership went into free fall!
Confirming he was out of touch with public sentiment, St Christo pontificated that “the past six years had not been good for Maori”. He said the Blues believed in devolution and there was “lots of commonality of values”. And confirmed his fatuity by capping all of his inane statements off with “I like nothing about at all!” when asked was there anything about Mr C More’s remedy he liked.
The viral crisis peaked when a massive, rolling outbreak swept across the land under the guidance of young viral mutators Eru Kapa-Kingi and Kiri Tamihere-Waititi. Kapa-Kingi and Tamihere-Waititi unleashed a country-wide “Carkoi” beginning from where souls depart for their homeland, Cape Reinga. The “Carkoi” mutated rapidly on its southward trajectory, sweeping up a legion of unblinking, impulsive and unthinking devotees in its wake.
PIJF infected agents gleefully monitored the outbreak, reporting that the mobile super-spreader event had funnelled 42,000 carriers onto Parliament’s lawn to overwhelm and hold hostage democracy’s frontline carers!
Naturally, the usual democracy deniers rushed out to celebrate the infection, flanked by the newly anointed Queen of ethnic sorcery and shamanism. Together, they demanded that the system’s carers immediately block and confiscate Mr C. More’s universal sanity checks and fiscal scalpel.
Behind the double-doors of the executive suite, the lead protector St. Christo seamlessly adapted to the very contagion he once vowed to eradicate, operating under the delusion that he was entirely immune to both the virus and voter backlash.
Assisted by his enthusiastic new assistant, Potaka the Providor, the administration quietly began supercharging the virus’s economic strain. Under the corporate banner of ‘Going for Growth with Maori’, Potaka the Provider went on a multi-million-dollar “Maorification” spree. Pumping millions into private tribal infrastructure pipelines.
Watching the supposed “antidote” mutate into the exact same disease, horrified “Blues” supporters began deserting in droves, abandoning the compromised party entirely. Stranded, it was to Mr. C More their desperate eyes turned toward.
Could he be the “Alexander Fleming” democracy so desperately needs?
With his clinical, data-driven democratic scalpel and unyielding pledge to permanently dismantle racial therapeutics, Mr. C More became an irresistible sanctuary for the politically displaced.
In between times Dr Winnie and his eloquent sidekick Shano Panza engaged in a charade of condemning the spread of Maorification, all the while running with the hares and hunting with the hounds. The mendacious imagery was there for all those who wanted to see!
While St. Christo and Potaka busied themselves prescribing expensive, race-specific placebo boosters, many handed to Dr Winnie and Shano Panza to personally deliver, the logic starved democracy refugees increasingly viewed Mr. C More as the only carer left willing to perform the necessary surgery to restore democracy to universal civic health!
By late 2026 the clinical negligence of the supposed lead protector had allowed the “Maorification” virus to mutate from something “akin” to an administrative quirk into a terminal national affliction, dooming the country’s democracy and institutional immune system to total collapse!
By the time the political establishment finishes debating cultural compliance protocols, the foundational organs of democracy will have already rotted away, paving the way for a complete societal teardown followed by the ethnic sorcerers and shamans form of governance – ETHNOCRACY! .
Welcome to the new, deconstructed, decolonised and demolished New Zealand, courtesy of the Labour led coalition’s win in November 2026. New Zealand has undergone the ultimate civic and cultural renovation project.
“Maorification” is no longer a virus, it is a way of life!
In this brave new world, democracy is unceremoniously pushed aside and carted off to the mortuary. That tired old has been concept of “one person, one vote” has been indecently discharged as an outdated relic of Western oppression.
Democracy has been successfully hollowed out by a compliance driven, corporate tribal bureaucracy that replaces merit and ability with ancestry and genetic privilege.
“Decolonisation rules the day!” cheered Wittering Willie and the King in Waiting, Red Kieran. They struggled to contain their ideological ecstasy. Clutched in a tight, taxpayer funded embrace, they gazed with misty eyes at the Tino Rangatiratanga flag fluttering triumphantly atop Parliament House, symbolizing the coup was complete. The nation was at last liberated from the backbreaking oppression of a functioning economy.
“We did it, Red!” blubbed Willie, wiping away a tear of pure Rangatiratanga joy. “My people have finally thrown off the cruel, heavy yoke of literacy, access to health services, modern water supply, and democratic accountability!”
Red Kieran nodded sagely, already drafting a working group to determine the cultural impact of his own upcoming coronation.
Dr Winnie has been hoisted by his own petard. Shano Panza seamlessly moved into the role of an elite shaman, St Christo moved abroad, rumoured to be living in the same high security compound as a previous lead physician, the Queen of Kindness but poor old Mr C More was excommunicated, banished to share his political proselytising with Sea Lions, Elephant seals and Giant Albatrosses on Auckland Island!
The institutional landscape now looks less like a functioning modern state and more like an ideological ground zero. With the judiciary, Civil Service, local councils and school boards fully re-engineered and repurposed into tribal HR departments, the foundational tenets of equality have been thoroughly vaporized.
The Ministry of Education has efficiently pivoted from teaching literacy and numeracy to producing a generation of perfectly synchronized, guilt-ridden bureaucrats. Math curriculum frameworks are out; mandatory workshops on how to apologize for your background are in.
Waka Kotahi ensures that filling potholes is heavily deprioritized in favour of erecting bilingual signage on roads that are rapidly returning to gravel.
The Ministry of Justice has similarly evolved, gracefully winding down traditional courtrooms to make way for tribal mediation committees where the rule of law is dictated by bloodline. It is a spectacular administrative fallout zone!
The waste land that was once an enduring democracy is a political fallout zone where public infrastructure is divvied up by tribal mandate and economic productivity is sacrificed on the altar of Ethnocracy.
With democracy efficiently vaporised, the old-fashioned, Westminster hassle of “one person, one vote” has been replaced by Tikanga Tribalism, a boutique caste system run by Wellington’s finest consultants costing taxpayers millions!
Firstly, under the glorious doctrine of He Puapua Autocracy, our clunky, single-parliament model has been upgraded to a dual-sovereignty setup. This brilliantly ensures that unelected corporate tribal elites hold a permanent veto over public assets, safely insulating critical decisions from the volatile whims of actual voters.
At the local level, Co-governance Feudalism mandates 50/50 race-based committees, meaning half your council answers exclusively to tribal boards while the other half struggles to find the budget to collect your garbage.
Behind the scenes, the Whakapapa Bureaucracy has successfully cleansed the civil service of toxic concepts like “merit” or “competence.” Public sector promotions are now based strictly on your family tree and your ability to look deeply moved during an administrative karakia. Meanwhile, Matauranga Monopolism has liberated our research laboratories from the oppressive shackles of empirical science. Why fund boring old medicine or engineering when we can legally mandate folklore as globally competitive technology?
What remains is a segregated cultural wasteland; a hollowed-out state where the concept of a unified nation has been completely obliterated. This engineered collapse has left the country intellectually and economically radioactive.
Ultimately, the great 2017–2026 political experiment proved that you don’t need an actual atomic bomb to flatten a modern society.
The end of our world doesn’t come with a bang, but with a heavily constructed slide into total cultural mediocrity!
Pee Kay writes he is from a generation where common sense, standards, integrity and honesty are fundamental attributes. This article was first published HERE
Instead, he argued that the original treatment plan had left the general citizenry completely unprotected, a systemic malpractice that had never been rectified. His radical solution was to force a new, rigid clinical manual upon the protectors: a code dictating absolute, universal equality before the law for all.
In 2024 the attack intensified when the prescient Mr. C. More had the temerity to suggest all citizens of this country must be treated equally and more efforts must be made to define the legal rights of the citizenry and the protection of democracy.
His simple antidote for the “Maorification” virus was the “Treaty Principles Bill.”
Those who were immune to the “Maorification” virus, those who were the recipients of munificence and benefaction all mounted very high horses decrying the “Treaty Principles” and pronouncing its proponents were….. RACISTS!
The screams from the elite atop their high horses were cacophonous! They could see the ever flowing money stream they have become used to drying up. They could see paddocks of cash cows dead on the grounds of their taxpayer funded, tax exempt enterprises!
Early in 2025 St Christo, unsurprisingly, labelled the Bill “simplistic, divisive and unhelpful.”
Given the “brat in the Cowboy Hat” was calling for a separate minority ruled parliament it was clear, even to the deaf, dumb and blind kid, St Christo was, absurdly, swimming against the tide!
At this point the Blues party membership went into free fall!
Confirming he was out of touch with public sentiment, St Christo pontificated that “the past six years had not been good for Maori”. He said the Blues believed in devolution and there was “lots of commonality of values”. And confirmed his fatuity by capping all of his inane statements off with “I like nothing about at all!” when asked was there anything about Mr C More’s remedy he liked.
The viral crisis peaked when a massive, rolling outbreak swept across the land under the guidance of young viral mutators Eru Kapa-Kingi and Kiri Tamihere-Waititi. Kapa-Kingi and Tamihere-Waititi unleashed a country-wide “Carkoi” beginning from where souls depart for their homeland, Cape Reinga. The “Carkoi” mutated rapidly on its southward trajectory, sweeping up a legion of unblinking, impulsive and unthinking devotees in its wake.
PIJF infected agents gleefully monitored the outbreak, reporting that the mobile super-spreader event had funnelled 42,000 carriers onto Parliament’s lawn to overwhelm and hold hostage democracy’s frontline carers!
Naturally, the usual democracy deniers rushed out to celebrate the infection, flanked by the newly anointed Queen of ethnic sorcery and shamanism. Together, they demanded that the system’s carers immediately block and confiscate Mr C. More’s universal sanity checks and fiscal scalpel.
Behind the double-doors of the executive suite, the lead protector St. Christo seamlessly adapted to the very contagion he once vowed to eradicate, operating under the delusion that he was entirely immune to both the virus and voter backlash.
Assisted by his enthusiastic new assistant, Potaka the Providor, the administration quietly began supercharging the virus’s economic strain. Under the corporate banner of ‘Going for Growth with Maori’, Potaka the Provider went on a multi-million-dollar “Maorification” spree. Pumping millions into private tribal infrastructure pipelines.
Watching the supposed “antidote” mutate into the exact same disease, horrified “Blues” supporters began deserting in droves, abandoning the compromised party entirely. Stranded, it was to Mr. C More their desperate eyes turned toward.
Could he be the “Alexander Fleming” democracy so desperately needs?
With his clinical, data-driven democratic scalpel and unyielding pledge to permanently dismantle racial therapeutics, Mr. C More became an irresistible sanctuary for the politically displaced.
In between times Dr Winnie and his eloquent sidekick Shano Panza engaged in a charade of condemning the spread of Maorification, all the while running with the hares and hunting with the hounds. The mendacious imagery was there for all those who wanted to see!
While St. Christo and Potaka busied themselves prescribing expensive, race-specific placebo boosters, many handed to Dr Winnie and Shano Panza to personally deliver, the logic starved democracy refugees increasingly viewed Mr. C More as the only carer left willing to perform the necessary surgery to restore democracy to universal civic health!
By late 2026 the clinical negligence of the supposed lead protector had allowed the “Maorification” virus to mutate from something “akin” to an administrative quirk into a terminal national affliction, dooming the country’s democracy and institutional immune system to total collapse!
By the time the political establishment finishes debating cultural compliance protocols, the foundational organs of democracy will have already rotted away, paving the way for a complete societal teardown followed by the ethnic sorcerers and shamans form of governance – ETHNOCRACY! .
Your New Zealand, 2027?
Welcome to the new, deconstructed, decolonised and demolished New Zealand, courtesy of the Labour led coalition’s win in November 2026. New Zealand has undergone the ultimate civic and cultural renovation project.
“Maorification” is no longer a virus, it is a way of life!
In this brave new world, democracy is unceremoniously pushed aside and carted off to the mortuary. That tired old has been concept of “one person, one vote” has been indecently discharged as an outdated relic of Western oppression.
Democracy has been successfully hollowed out by a compliance driven, corporate tribal bureaucracy that replaces merit and ability with ancestry and genetic privilege.
“Decolonisation rules the day!” cheered Wittering Willie and the King in Waiting, Red Kieran. They struggled to contain their ideological ecstasy. Clutched in a tight, taxpayer funded embrace, they gazed with misty eyes at the Tino Rangatiratanga flag fluttering triumphantly atop Parliament House, symbolizing the coup was complete. The nation was at last liberated from the backbreaking oppression of a functioning economy.
“We did it, Red!” blubbed Willie, wiping away a tear of pure Rangatiratanga joy. “My people have finally thrown off the cruel, heavy yoke of literacy, access to health services, modern water supply, and democratic accountability!”
Red Kieran nodded sagely, already drafting a working group to determine the cultural impact of his own upcoming coronation.
Dr Winnie has been hoisted by his own petard. Shano Panza seamlessly moved into the role of an elite shaman, St Christo moved abroad, rumoured to be living in the same high security compound as a previous lead physician, the Queen of Kindness but poor old Mr C More was excommunicated, banished to share his political proselytising with Sea Lions, Elephant seals and Giant Albatrosses on Auckland Island!
The institutional landscape now looks less like a functioning modern state and more like an ideological ground zero. With the judiciary, Civil Service, local councils and school boards fully re-engineered and repurposed into tribal HR departments, the foundational tenets of equality have been thoroughly vaporized.
The Ministry of Education has efficiently pivoted from teaching literacy and numeracy to producing a generation of perfectly synchronized, guilt-ridden bureaucrats. Math curriculum frameworks are out; mandatory workshops on how to apologize for your background are in.
Waka Kotahi ensures that filling potholes is heavily deprioritized in favour of erecting bilingual signage on roads that are rapidly returning to gravel.
The Ministry of Justice has similarly evolved, gracefully winding down traditional courtrooms to make way for tribal mediation committees where the rule of law is dictated by bloodline. It is a spectacular administrative fallout zone!
The waste land that was once an enduring democracy is a political fallout zone where public infrastructure is divvied up by tribal mandate and economic productivity is sacrificed on the altar of Ethnocracy.
With democracy efficiently vaporised, the old-fashioned, Westminster hassle of “one person, one vote” has been replaced by Tikanga Tribalism, a boutique caste system run by Wellington’s finest consultants costing taxpayers millions!
Firstly, under the glorious doctrine of He Puapua Autocracy, our clunky, single-parliament model has been upgraded to a dual-sovereignty setup. This brilliantly ensures that unelected corporate tribal elites hold a permanent veto over public assets, safely insulating critical decisions from the volatile whims of actual voters.
At the local level, Co-governance Feudalism mandates 50/50 race-based committees, meaning half your council answers exclusively to tribal boards while the other half struggles to find the budget to collect your garbage.
Behind the scenes, the Whakapapa Bureaucracy has successfully cleansed the civil service of toxic concepts like “merit” or “competence.” Public sector promotions are now based strictly on your family tree and your ability to look deeply moved during an administrative karakia. Meanwhile, Matauranga Monopolism has liberated our research laboratories from the oppressive shackles of empirical science. Why fund boring old medicine or engineering when we can legally mandate folklore as globally competitive technology?
What remains is a segregated cultural wasteland; a hollowed-out state where the concept of a unified nation has been completely obliterated. This engineered collapse has left the country intellectually and economically radioactive.
Ultimately, the great 2017–2026 political experiment proved that you don’t need an actual atomic bomb to flatten a modern society.
The end of our world doesn’t come with a bang, but with a heavily constructed slide into total cultural mediocrity!
Pee Kay writes he is from a generation where common sense, standards, integrity and honesty are fundamental attributes. This article was first published HERE

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