It is rathe r
rare for dastardly criminals planning to commit a crime to publicly disclose the ir forward thinking to the
appropriate authorities. I do so today in order to ensure the y have plenty of time to prepare a really nice
suite at the Milton Hilton (our
local jail) is available for me after sentencing. I hear that room service is
available along with free dental and health checks and the
gym is well stocked.
I hope that by admitting my guilt before the
crime is actually committed, the
judge will reduce the sentence he
would normally impose on someone who pleads guilty after committing the crime. Most criminals apparently regret the crime after being caught or just regret being
caught after the crime. Take your
pick.

