Thursday, November 23, 2023

Derek Mackie: Coalition News Blues

We cast our votes and they've been tallied 
The good folks woke up and now we're ready for change
It's over a month since we all rallied 
To dump hard Labour and stop that brother eat brother exchange

But the victors they're still dealin’ 
Tradin’ policies and posts in secret ‘til they're satisfied 
In the meantime, the media’s been left feelin’ 
Ignored, outside the tent, and nursin’ wounded pride 

Them talks just keep on goin’ 
Ain’t they never gonna reach agreement, call it quits? 
Those good-ol-boys keep Right-on jawin’ 
But are they making progress or just talking shit? 

     Woke up this mornin', had the coalition blues 
    All those meetings but there just ain’t no juicy news 
    Only crosswords, sport and film reviews 
    I got the coalition blues 

Our newshounds they’ve gone crazy 
Coz there’s nothin’ much to spin and then relate 
So rather lying ‘round bein’ lazy 
They just gotta make stuff up and speculate 

     They got the coalition blues 
    Can’t get no inside leaks or PM interviews 
    Still gotta pay that student loan and union dues 
    Yeah, got the coalition blues 

Good things come to those who wait 
My wise old mama said to me 
So keep occupied, stop gettin’ all irate
Hunt out your decorations and put up your Christmas tree 

    Now got a different kind of blues     
    Blown fairy lights and pretend reindeer poos     
    Rellies camping on the lawn and drinking booze 
    Too much eating till you’re stuffed, and then a snooze 
    Yuletide gifts I’ll never use and rather lose….. 

On second thoughts, it’s kinda nice 
To have no crazy Left-wing government to criticise and then abuse 
It’s like the calm before the storm arrives, so don't think twice… 
Bring on those coalition blues! 

Derek Mackie is a former geologist with a keen interest in current affairs and a penchant for satire.

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