Derek Mackie: Water, water everywhere, but not free for all to drink!

Water, water everywhere; in hoses, baths and sinks 

Be it storm or waste for treatment; or the fresh stuff that we drink 

In lakes and rivers, pumps and pipes; enjoyed by all and sundry 

Flushing poos and wees away; keeps us clean and does our laundry 

Some say it’s “indigenous”; part-Maori owned, they claim 

Others say nobody owns it; we’re all entitled, just the same 

A basic universal right; an essential part of life 

Unless tikanga rules the court; woke judges causing strife 

Labour bought in, warts and all; Three Waters their solution 

Justified by dodgy claims of water-plant pollution 

Mahuta recognised the prize; an endless stream of money 

A “partnership” where only iwi get the milk and honey 

Stop 3 Waters, came the cry; signs up and down the land 

NZFirst and ACT agreed; two deals forced Luxon’s hand 

True to their word, it’s been repealed; a replacement's in the making 

But concerning rumours going round suggest Luxon’s hand is shaking 

There’s been a leak, a big one; but not the kind enjoyed by otters 

Looks like National will retain, co-governance of fresh water 

The Public Service has advised, nothing can be changed 

Without consent from iwi first; think that’ll happen, you’re deranged! 

We thought we’d seen the last, of Te Mana o Te Wai 

In other words, a direct order from iwi up on high 

Mahuta got Crown Law advice; then claimed a Treaty obligation 

Compulsory co-governance; one water-race, no consultation 

When we asked to see the findings, the courts refused to budge 

The government got tetchy; tried suppression orders from a judge 

What’s the big fat secret? No smoke without a fire 

Someone’s pants are burning; we can smell a big fat liar 

Luxon’s got a record, of swerving Maori issues if he can 

He can’t wait to flush ACT’s Treaty Principles, straight down the pan 

Takes the path of least resistance; avoids the media’s wrath 

He needs to honour his commitment; no time for measures cut in half 

Our public institutions need to serve the public first 

Not their own “progressive” inclinations; producing outcomes worst 

We’re grown-ups; we can handle seeing government advice 

Especially when the alternative, let’s only Maori roll the dice 

We got Three Waters scrapped before; let’s finish what we started 

Would be so disappointing, to end up with something so half-hearted 

The Taxpayers’ Union is campaigning, to force officials to come clean 

And turn false co-governance claims, into a Left-inspired wet dream 

 The topic of this blog is derived from an email sent out on 7 March by Peter Williams, on behalf of the NZ Taxpayers’ Union. 

Derek Mackie is a former geologist with a keen interest in current affairs and a penchant for satire.