JB: Apologies, sir. Q was showing me the new modified electric Aston Martin DB5.
Incredibly quiet. Laser beams instead of machine guns. Electric force-field has replaced the armour plating. Just as well, with all those big heavy batteries in the back. Barely room for my golf clubs.
Unfortunately, they’ve also done away with the oil slick reservoir - one of my favourite features. Q tells me it’s not compatible with the department’s Net Carbon Zero Policy.
M: Bloody Home Office mandarins! They’ve got a policy for everything these days.
Enough of that. What do you know about Klaus Schwabfinger?
JB: Sounds vaguely familiar. Isn’t he the head of some high-brow economic policy think-tank?
M: That’s his public persona. Born in Germany in the late 30’s. Graduated as an engineer then got a degree in economics. Served as a director on a number of respected company boards before turning author and dedicating himself to developing his own economic theory.
Hosts a prestigious annual conference in Switzerland to discuss new economic ideas and promote his particular brand.
JB: And why would he be of interest to us, sir?
M: You will have heard of a group called CLIMATE, I assume.
JB: Who hasn’t. They’re at the sharp, pointy end of the global warming activist movement, with a penchant for causing massive traffic disruption during rush-hour, shutting down coal mines and oil refineries and intimidating MPs who oppose them.
M: That’s certainly their modus operandi and very effective it’s been to date. Most of the members are well-off, middle-class, young university radicals. You know the sort of useful idiots. Rich and spoilt enough to despise and dismantle the system that gave them everything they have.
JB: You don’t want me to infiltrate them, do you sir? Not sure I’d blend in with that lot.
M: That won’t be necessary, Bond.
What very few people know, but is now of critical concern, is that the wealthy elite that founded the group have much grander and more sinister motives than saving the planet.
CLIMATE is a front for a radical political movement that aligns itself with Schwabfinger’s ideology. It's an acronym, known only to a select few, and stands for.....Cabal of Left-wing Ideological Megalomaniacs Advancing Transnational Elitism.
JB: That’s quite a mouthful. And I’m guessing our chum, Schwabfinger, is part of this group.
M: Not just part of…the original founder.
He’s using the fear of a supposed impending climate apocalypse to force governments and their populations to adopt hugely expensive and technologically flawed extreme mitigation policies which will lead to a massive global economic collapse.
Rising from the ashes will be his New World Order, ruled by powerful shadowy technocrats like himself. Their ultimate aim is to supplant the current world governing system, in which sovereign rule, democracy and the rights of the individual holds sway, and replace it with a global body of unelected elites, deciding what’s best for us, who can never be removed from office and would control everything.
JB: Sounds diabolical, sir.
M: Glad you think so, Bond. That’s why I’m sending you over to Switzerland for the upcoming annual conference.
JB: Doesn’t Prince Charles usually attend? My social skills will be sorely tested if I have to make intelligent conversation with His Royal Highness.
M: Smile, wave and mumble a lot and you’ll get on swimmingly. Your cover is to be part of his security detail.
Now, we know from our intelligence sources that during the conference a top secret meeting is held amongst the uppermost echelon of elites, at which the overarching strategy is agreed for the coming year. This is never made public because it would be completely unpalatable to the world at large and expose the real agenda.
JB: I’m guessing you want me to “acquire” hard evidence of this meeting.
M: Exactly. Attendees, points of discussion, proposed actions. But it won’t be easy.
Schwabfinger isn’t getting any younger. He’s in his eighties and has been grooming two proteges, one of which will succeed him. They are devoted to him and never leave his side at these events.
And before you ask, Bond, liquidating them is a last resort. Ideally, we want the secret documents before they realise they’re missing.
JB: Understood, sir.
M: Have a look at this photo.
JB: She looks rather sweet and wholesome. What a killer smile! Hard to believe she’s a criminal mastermind-in-waiting.
M: Her name’s Toothy Galore.
Ask anyone who deals with her publicly and they’ll gush about her kind and caring nature and her promotion of wellbeing over profit. Talk to her staff and you’ll get a different story - authoritarian and intimidating.
Information on her is sketchy. She comes from New Zealand and had a spell with the International Union of Socialist Youth in her younger days.
JB: Well, I don’t see much of a threat there. I’ll use the Bond charm. It certainly works on Moneypenny.
M: Galore’s impervious to charm, 007. And she’s a lot more dangerous than you think.
You commented on her smile. That’s her secret weapon.
JB: She’s not a vampire is she, sir? Not sure that’s in my job description.
M: You don’t have a job description, Bond. You do whatever I tell you.
Her teeth can concentrate a light source and magnify it up to 1000x, reflecting it back at you with devastating consequences. We’re not sure how she activates it but we’ve seen the results.
006, poor chap, is in the secret service retirement home because of her. We sent him on a scouting mission but she caught him in her office. He made the mistake of trying to dazzle her with the anglepoise lamp.
Now he’s the one using a stick. He’ll never see again.
JB: Blinded by the light!
M: Don’t be flippant, Bond.
JB: Sorry, sir. And the other protege?
M: A charismatic Frenchman simply called Emanual, but better known as Le Handyman, reflecting his eclectic skills at “solving” any problem. Here’s a rare photo of him.
JB: Stocky, well-built. Quite a handsome chap. He’s even wearing a beret. Bit of a caricature isn’t he. Where’s his accordion?
M: Be very careful of that beret, Bond. It’s lethal. It can decapitate a man at 30m and he’s an expert at throwing it.
Emanual was a fixer in French politics before working for Schwabfinger. He is highly dangerous and has been tenuously linked to at least five suspicious “suicides” of public figures.
JB: Lost their heads under pressure, did they?
M: You never disappoint with your schoolboy humour, Bond.
JB: All part of an Eton education, sir.
M: Enough chit-chat, you're booked on the next flight to Zurich. Good luck.
Q will have a new DB5 waiting for you at the airport. It’s not fully tested so be careful with it.
JB: Thank you, sir. As long as it comes with industrial strength sun visors and beret-proof glass I should be fine.
M: And Bond. You may have to literally turn the other cheek if you get up close and personal with Ms Galore. That’ll be a new experience for you.
JB: I’ll just close my eyes tight and think of England, sir.
Derek Mackie is a geologist with a keen interest in current affairs.
3 comments:
Ha ha excellent spoof Derek. I'm not much into fiction but that is believable. I hope Klaus Scwabfinger becomes more infamous so more people realise where he is trying to take us.
We must stand up to all the nonsense in NZ.
Regards, Margie
Excellent documentary, Derek.
Joking - but the fact is that this is basically what is going on.
I agree with Doug Longmire when he said "but the fact is this is basically what is going on.
If you look at the World Economic Forum's website you will see Jacinda, Justin Trudeau and other leaders who have been through the WEF's "education"program.
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