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Thursday, November 14, 2024

Derek Mackie: When I like nothing at all


Luxon’s outright rejection of ACT’s Treaty Principles Bill, describing it as “divisive”, has struck many New Zealanders as irrational at best, and at worst a “dereliction of duty”. 

 There certainly seems nothing divisive about any of the proposed principles in my view. Principles One and Three could not be clearer that the NZ Government has full power to make laws in the best interests of everyone and which maintain a free and democratic society. 
And, everyone has the same rights and we are all equal before the law. 
Principle Two specifically confirms that Maori will continue to enjoy the same rights, as set out in the original Treaty. 

 What’s not to like about that? Well, according to our PM, everything! 
 There is NOTHING he likes about the Bill - absolutely NOTHING!!!! 

 Using Ronan Keating's hit song - When You Say Nothing at All - for inspiration, I desperately tried to find some semblance of logic in Luxon’s bizarre position. But ultimately, I’m left grasping at straws….as he seems to be. 



The Treaty Principles Bill’s like a thorn in my arse 
Wincing when I get quizzed, my lack of logic’s a farce 
Try as I may, I can never explain 
What it is, that so confuses my brain 
   Then I remember the media and how much they hate me 
    Every interview’s hell, knowing they'll always bait me 
     Agreeing seems easy, though my ratings risk dropping free-fall 
So, when asked I just say…. “I like nothing at all” 


All day long, I hear Seymour talking out loud 
‘Bout everyone being equal, just one big Kiwi crowd 
Forget your family tree, we all have the same rights 
One law for all, no tikanga in sight 
   Before I’d seen the first draft, I said I wouldn’t back it 
    If it had been Maureen Pugh I’d have been tempted to sack it 
     Now my head’s sweating bullets trying to justify my hasty call 
So, when asked I just say…. “I like nothing at all” 


Some folks say I’m just weak and a coward at heart 
But in my CEO past, partnerships played a big part 
I’ve scanned the new Bill and the p-word ain’t there 
There’s a hikoi from hell heading south and I’m scared 
     Another 6 months of this, don’t know how I will stand it 
      A shitload of submissions, real tight window I’ve planned it 
       Plenty trade trips abroad, keep my profile at home super small 
And when all else fails, say…. “I like nothing at all” 



I say it best when I like nothing at all
Yes, I say it best when I like nothing at all
   Sweat runs off my head, looks like tears in my eyes
   This Bill fills me with dread, though I've tried and I can't explain why
So, I say it best when I like nothing at all
Yes, I say it best when I like nothing at all




Derek Mackie is a former geologist with a keen interest in current affairs and a penchant for satire.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

There are no principles in the Treaty and to try and make some is asking for more trouble.
Stick with the original and stop trying to modify it.

Anonymous said...

Actually none of it really matters. Just wake up to the new self justifying reality. It is itself and needs no other rationale or legitimacy. It just is.

Anonymous said...

Derek, you should apply to Creative NZ for funding to go on a national tour, although they are likely to say you aren't relevant because your song isn't about stabbing white people.

TJS said...

Ha ha very funny indeed,

I like nothing at all.

The tatoo on your face lets me know that you'd decieve me
There's mistrust in your eyes it says you'll never believe me
The whack of your hand says you'll smack me whenever I fall we say it lest that he likes nothing at all.

Anonymous said...

Principle Two specifically confirms that Maori will continue to enjoy the same rights, as set out in the original Treaty. ??

Please define these rights that differ from ALL the people of New Zealand rights?

Anonymous said...

Derek, a "I dare you"- to make contact with Ronan Keating and see if he will record your song. Mind you not sure which NZ Radio station will play it, they may not have a time space in between all the songs they keep re-playing, telling us that is the music we like.
Nice to see your written opines back on the channel.

Anonymous said...

But them is speshoool doncha know! As it said in Animal Farm, all animals are equal but some are more equal than others ... which is a comment on the hypocrisy of governments that proclaim the absolute equality of their citizens but give power and privileges to a small elite. Subsequent NZ governments have excelled at this and woke PM Luxon is now going for the trifecta with his "nothing to like" in the TP bill.

Anonymous said...

Well done, Derek. It also sums up my feelings about Luxon - I like nothing at all!

anonymous said...

Luxon - by adopting this attitude - has done immense damage to himself and National. NZers know the " finger in the dyke to hold back the deluge" strategy has failed massively. The drafting of He Puapua by stealth and its rapid implementation by a Maori-dominated Labour government have given very clear lessons to the people .

anonymous said...

Apologies: dike - of course. Identity politics is getting to me.

Anonymous said...

We have two choices. Either legislate what the airy fairy existing principles mean, so everyone (including shifty lawyers) or get rid of them entirely and deal only with the Treaty' itself. As these principles didn't exist until until about fifty years ago, the obvious answer would be to get rid of them from all legislation. Also legislate the Waitangi Tribunal to do only the one job it was created for; to look after Land grievances and keep its nose out of other things