Pages

Sunday, September 17, 2023

James Kierstead: Why we don't need languages


Victoria University of Wellington has defended its plans to stop teaching German, Italian, Latin and Greek and to cease research in Chinese, Japanese, Spanish, and French.

‘It’s not like anybody speaks these languages anymore,’ Ex Nihilo Vice Provost Brenda Boffin told us in an exclusive interview, ‘except for the 1.1 billion or so Chinese speakers, the 559 million Hispanophones, the 310 million speakers of French, the hundred and twenty million or so speakers of German and Japanese, and the almost 70 million Italian-speakers.’

When we mentioned that China and Japan together accounted for over $15 billion in exports last year, and that Germany, Mexico and France accounted for over a billion more, Prof. Boffin seemed unimpressed.

‘Nowadays, you can just use Google Translate,’ she said. ‘It’s not like you need to spend time studying these places and trying to understand their culture and society.’

‘That’s a relief,’ we told Prof. Boffin, ‘because with all those sacred texts and great thinkers – Confucianism, the Scientific Revolution, the Enlightenment – it was a lot to get your head around.’

‘Exactly,’ came her reply. ‘That’s exactly why we can’t waste time and money on Greek and Latin either – after all, what did the Greeks do but invent democracy, pioneer geometry and geography, and inaugurate our traditions of history and philosophy? And what have the Romans ever done for us?’

We did have some suggestions on that front, but Prof. Boffin decided to reply ‘on a more positive note,’ pointing out that the university has ring-fenced Pacific languages like Māori and Samoan.

'Could you not just use Google Translate for those too?’ we suggested. This did not go down well with Prof. Boffin. ‘You have to realise that there is precious cultural heritage at stake here, unlike with French and German and Chinese and... Anyway, New Zealand’s part of the Pacific and the Pacific’s a big place.’

We suggested that was mainly because of all the water, but Prof. Boffin was undeterred. ‘At the end of the day, we’ve chosen to focus on our neighbourhood, and a very nice neighbourhood it is,’ she continued. ‘We’re not sure we’re missing a whole lot by focussing on where we are.’

When we asked, as our final question, whether Prof. Boffin thought there might be a risk of philistinism, she gave us a quizzical look.

‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘but I don’t know what that means.’

James Kierstead is Senior Lecturer in Classics at Victoria University of Wellington.This article was first published HERE

3 comments:

DeeM said...

And I bet she has no clue what our exports are to the Pacific Islands with their miniscule populations. Any goods and services most likely given as aid rather than earning us much. Anyway, aren't they all supposed to be under sea level by March next year. That's a bit short-sighted of her.

Yet another woke out-of-touch Boffin at a university less and less people want to go to these days.

The professor's name can't really be Boffin, can it?

"I say Ginger, toddle over and ask Brenda the Boffin how we can tune up this Spitfire and get the upper hand against Fritz, will you. There's a good chap!"
"She got awfully cross, Squadron Leader, refused to help and said the Battle of Britain was bad for climate change, or some such rot. She also said all future requests had to be in Samoan because European languages are pointless."
"She may be on speaking terms with Barnes-Wallis but I'm not having that. Tell her the bomb doors on that Lancaster are sticking, then shut her inside. She can try out her Samoan in Berlin!"

Anonymous said...

Is this for real? If not it is sadly, very funny. If it is, it is, sadly, very unfunny.

Provost of nothing comes from nothing. Ipso facto we are nothing.

Anonymous said...

Ah, where is Jacinda, oh yes in Canada, being "heckled".

Why did I start there, well, if one 'reads the article' one "could assume (you know the 'make an ass out of you and me') - that said statement "was for real"! or potentially "Disinformation"!

Alas, "said Yoric", the humour !

But, knowing what "some of current academic tosspots" are like, they could make change to any subject matter, to be taught on any Campus in NZ, with out public consultation 'as they don't mind, we don't matter.

Languages, I do recall from many yonder years (yes that long ago) that New Zealand was in the throes of expanding its Trade across the World, well Britain had tossed us in the rubbish pile once they joined the EU, so our attention spread - and from this following list, it was suggested that "we"(Kiwis) should learn the language of -

- China, Mandarin - large & growing population - they might like our dairy products, they certainly liked (then) our wines; (sorry Aussie, we beat you to that one first) - what about our meat?
- South America, Spanish - again look at what we could export - dairy products
-Germany - Any Kiwi - "Sprucken se Deutsch"? it is a Country that English is not a common language - and they did want to buy (not Trade) some of our products - but not dairy, nor wine - Nein - meat Ja.
- Arab Nations in the UAE & Saudi Arabia - lucky for NZ, these Nations had English speaking People, who interacted with NZ attempts to sell product and yes we did - it would be interesting to see if we still do - oh sorry, Kiwis learning Arabic, nah.
- Japan - go to live there, a big requirement to learn the Language, only a small portion of the Population speak English
- Spain, France. Italy - do you speak these languages - found in France that English was not a common language - which made communication difficult.

Notice the first 2, the others came later.

Oh, I should add - we do have a universal language, apologies - suddenly remembered it - Green Kiwifruit - yes, trays of the stuff! Now the Gold variety - speaks volumes for and/on our behalf.

So sadly, IF NZ lost the ability to have our People educated in an International Language (Te Reo is not) - then the loss of the likes of "Prof Brenda Boffin et.al" would be to our detriment.

ANON, of New Zealand