High-end retail, exclusive, no trash
She’d brought just enough money
For the taxi home, honey
She’d be needing to leave in a flash
Ms Green looked around, designer merch I’ll be bound
Her eyes wide with excitement, the thrill
Such lovely handbags and purses
Stick-thin skirts, tops and dresses
And no need to checkout at the till
While browsing away, she checked all was OK
No cameras to capture the act
Packed her bag to the brim
And then on a whim
Asked for a plastic-free designer sack
After filling this too, said she was going to the loo
And made a bee-line straight for the door
There the store manager stood
Arms akimbo, stern mood
“Stand aside, miss. Put the bags on the floor”
Payment before possession? That’s minority oppression
Ms Green wasn’t standing for that
Clutching her bags to her chest
She refused the request
And fled the shop like a scalded she-cat
With time to reflect on her plight, she booked an overseas flight
A well-earned break, nice hotel on the beach
Away from the media
Endless Green Party tedia
And the long arm of the law out of reach
Sipping her cocktail, her phone beeped “You’ve got mail”
From her co-leaders demanding to know
When are you coming back
Should we give you the sack
Or blame it all on colonial woes
Her day in court had arrived, she held her head high with pride
The judge summed up the case, no excuses
Retail capitalism gone mad
Systemic racism, how sad
Worst of all, personal pronoun abuses
Not Guilty - it’s clear! Dismay, anguish and fear
You’ve been put through a painful ordeal
The shop must pay compensation
The State must make reparations
And you get to keep all the gear, yes for real
Crime doesn’t pay, or so they used to say
Seems obvious - you don’t need a degree
But now, if you’re the right kind of minority
Which appeals to “progressive” authority
Give your spirits a lift, shop for free
Derek Mackie is a former geologist with a keen interest in current affairs and a penchant for satire.
4 comments:
As always Derek, very good
Hilarious, thank you!
Superb, Derek !!
Unfortunately spot on. Where do the left lunatics find these people?
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